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Monday, June 30, 2008

Mark Madsen’s 2001 Lakers Parade Speech: An Analytical Breakdown

Yes, this qualifies as the B.N.B. sort-of related to sports video of the day. Yes, it may be a little old. Yes, it is absolutely hilarious. And yes, it’s a little late for a daily video, so what -- wanna fight about it?

Anyway, if you’ve read any of my Real Sporting World articles, you know I have a strange fascination with Mark “The Mad Dog” Madsen. I’m guilty of poking fun at him from time to time but really, I respect the man for being himself. He is 110% always the Mad Dog that is Mark Madsen, even if he does often make people doubt that he’s actually a real living human being. He is folks, he is that and more.

If you’ve never heard of Mark Madsen, he is a professional basketball player best known for his bench cheering skills and the unparalleled intensity he exhibits when tossed into a game. Whether or not these things have anything to do with the fact that he’s averaged 12.0 minutes per game for his career (seriously, become a believer: Here). But although one might first notice that the Mad Dog has averaged 2.2 points per game or 0.4 assists is the intangibles he brings to the table. Not only will Madsen give you his all on the court, but he’ll give you his all on the bench as well.

You also might know him best from his Lakers days, because that is when he was most relevant. I’ve taken it upon myself to remind the world of the legend that is Mark Madsen whenever I can, and I figured why not feature him in the BNB video of the day? But what video to pick, fore there are so, so many! Then it dawned on me. His legendary speech at the 2001 Lakers Championship Parade. Following the speech is an analytical breakdown, because although it’s pretty straight forward, I knew it would be a blast to do. Enjoy.

(Note: I’ve broken the common trend of how many actual seconds each clip is into the video and replaced it with what it says on the You tube player as you play it. There’s no math involved and as we all know, everybody wins when that‘s the case.)

0:01 - The speech extravaganza host begins his introduction. He pretty much gets it spot on. Even though you’ve already probably heard it, I’ll post what is said for our speaker impaired readers (with my comments in italics in between quotes for the rest of the post):

“Out of the University of Stanford or Stanford University if you like..” This announcer is on his game, he’s attempting to please every possible person who could be at this parade. Well done.

“He was an honor student..” Not surprising.

“He is a crowd favorite..” Also not surprising.

“Didn’t play very much but when he played, he played with an intensity that no other Laker prob--ever exceeded.” Whoever this announcer is, I like him. He doesn’t sugar coat anything, he aims to please and he isn’t afraid to make bold statements if it’s true. He goes to say ‘ other Laker probably’ but immediately corrects himself because he knows there is no other nominees in the intensity category if Mark Madsen is involved. Bravo!

“He’s the guy who went and picked the other guys’ laundry up and brought it to their rooms. He’s the guy who carried their bags from the hotel lobby up to their rooms.” By other guys’ the announcer means Kobe Bryant. After the bag part, he realizes he’s beginning to downplay the Mad Dog and boos are heard. A professional, he quickly realizes this and spouts:

“That’s enough.” I’m beginning to like this announcer even more than I like Mark Madsen if that’s even possible.

“Mark Madsen!” A thunderous applause is heard. A couple boos as well, but they’re drowned out -- probably due to the fact that whoever was booing was promptly beaten. Dumb asses. Okay, they’re not drowned out completely, but still. This is in Los Angeles! There’s probably some renegade Kings, Warriors and Clippers fans littered throughout the crowd. Yeah, that’s it.

0:38 - The Mad Dog is officially at the microphone at this point. He raises his patented number one finger and thanks the crowd, completely oblivious to the booing. Madsen knows these people are either a) jealous he’s not on there team or b) too drunk to remember when he played that year -- so it’s all good.

“Thank you!” The man is the definition of class.

0:40 - Madsen pauses to let the thank you sink in then offers,

“You are the greatest fans in the world!” Okay, I think we can all agree that this is a blatant lie -- but that isn’t stopping Mark from making it appear and sound as if he sincerely believes this. A maniacal Mad Dog grin completes the whole thing. Not only does he give you 110% on the court and bench, but the man gives it all in the P.R. department as well. Lakers fans the greatest in the world? Haha! Good stuff Mark, I nominate you for an Emmy!

0:43 - Still holding up the number one sign, Mark keeps grinning and let’s what he just said sink in. The man’s a genius. Even Lakers fans know they’re not the greatest in the world, but scream it at a pep rally and let it sink in for a few seconds. ‘Hey, we might just be the greatest fans in the world! Sure, half of the people with Laker flags on their cars wouldn’t be able to name who we played in the Finals -- but who cares! We’re the best in the wooooooooorld!’

0:45 - Madsen punctuates this thinking with a roaring,


0:47 - He pauses again then shouts,

“WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!?!” This has absolutely nothing to do with the Lakers team, unless they played this during the season. Which wouldn’t surprise me, but I doubt it. I think it has to do with his nickname more than anything. Yes, I thought of that myself. Regardless, Madsen proves here that he's topical. The man knows what’s in style and he’s aware of his nickname. What more could you want from your 13th man?

0:54 - After a couple of woofs, some expressed bliss when the crowd barks back Madsen gets our bilingual friends involved,

“And for those who speak Spanish: ‘Les hablababes vamos ingles da dimos, que ano benenay, loremos, otra PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!’” Yes, I butchered the shit out of that but the accuracy is not the point. The man prepped his speech with a bit for the Spanish speaking Lakers fans. Nothing needs to be said here, only that is just amazing.

1:08 - Everyone goes wild. I wish I knew what that meant, or maybe everyone is just going wild because it was so out of the blue, legendary and fantastic. Madsen backs from the podium with hands raised, high-fiving his teammates as the crowd goes nuts. Absolutely nuts. Where are the booers now? Huh? Can’t boo someone who just spoke Spanish for no reason, can you?

1:23 - As the crowd goes nuts, the host (?) appears back at the podium with a simple,

“No wonder they call him the Mad Dog.” Indeed. Never before has a nickname fit someone so incredibly well. The man truly is a mad dog. In a good way, of course.

1:28 - Our host concludes with a quick summation of the man as a whole,

“Isn’t he something, and he’s so sincere. Just a great guy.” Say what you want about his intensity, lack of minutes and cheerleader-esque attitude -- but the man wears his heart on his sleeve and he gives 110% no matter what. For that, I applaud you Mark Madsen and I always will. I mean, hey, anyone who can cheer on Kobe Bryant and look like he enjoys must be a great person.

1:33 - The video ends with a shot of Madsen smiling and then putting his head down. Humble. Humble as pie.

What have we learned in this journey? Well, for one -- we’ve learned that Mark Madsen is the man. Two, we’ve learned that sometimes sports biggest stars don’t make their mark by putting up gaudy numbers or winning MVP awards. Sometimes, they leave their mark with effort, being a good teammate and failing to let money affect who they are.

We’ve also learned that Mark Madsen belongs on a particular NBA team where he could make the most impact and be appreciated when doing so. Have you guessed it yet? Come on, think a little harder.. A hint? You seriously want a hint?

They play on the East Coast.

No not the Seattle Supersonics, that‘s the West Coast, dimwit. Think. Another hint? Wow.

They have a player on the team known for giving 110% all the time as well.

The Miami Heat? I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. Fine, here’s one last one.

The nickname rhymes with 'Meltics'.

That’s right! Your a quick one! The Boston Celtics! In addition to actual basketball talent, they have career bench guys like James Posey (who‘s also talented at basketball to be fair), Brian Scalabrine and Eddie House’s kid! It’s a perfect fit!

Not only have you gotten a refresher course on Mark Madsen as a person, but you’ve also just read the birth piece to a movement designed to get Mark Madsen on the 2009 Boston Celtics roster! A petition’s on the way!


JustinY said...

Who Let the Dogs Ouuuuutttt!

Wow, this is 2001...

Crackajg said...

I'm only 21 but this delving into the past thing is making me feel very old.. Weird.

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