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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

It's Spring Again... F@ck!

This is a new column called "Manny Stiles' Gratuitous Pondiferications of the imitation brand emoticon "f@ck"

I call it:

Manny Stiles' Gratuitous Pondiferications of the Imitation Brand Emoticon "F@ck"

This is a poem I wrote called "F@ck Boston"

Suck it in...
it's the smell of Spring.
Fungoes in bloom,
the Red Sox in perilous doom.

John Lackey is whack-y
he got smacked-y
like a cricket bat whacking a
wicked dust bunny...

Oh, yess... yessss Spring!
The Rays stepped on 'em
and swept the Sawx with a broom.

Carlos Pena,
puttin' you through pain, huh?
not pay Josh Beckett MORE money?
It's so wicked funny...

Ha Ha haaa haa ha.

Ha hahaaa yeah, that's what I said.

F@ck Boston.

F@ck the Celtics.

They're whatever Rasheed wants them to suck as bad as...

Garnett is toast begging to get buttered only to fall buttered side down in a pile full of bone-on-bone contact.

F@ck the Patriots.


Because the chicken crossed the road to rape, kill and eat the Easter Bunny. But only a split second before Bill Belichick was going to.

Slander? Hell yeah I'll slander Bill Belichick with all kinds of deluded methaphors and dream clouds in print. Nothing against the guy except for F@ck Bill Belichick! F@ck the entire franchise, their retired players not named Sam Cunningham, the current and future personnel and especially that repulsive logo.

And because my pet shrimp told me so. True story.

F@ck the Bruins. No one's afraid of you, you measly chumps.

I can't even feign interest in the Bruins. I'm serious. I tried to feign interest, but pitifully to NO avail, no regard and no measurable or distinctual change. They're the Bruins. Nothing to get excited about here.

F@ck Sam Malone, too. You know why.

Paul Revere made chamber pots, Ted Kennedy was addicted to rectal self-examinations and you Bostonians live in a sub-state. Massachusetts should be a county inside a Big Boy state, not a teeny, tiny, quiant, lace-ruffled pansy-derriered state that looks like the Iron Sheik's boots. F@ck Massachusetts (for the most part, I suppose). What did Massachusetts ever do right other than let itself get forced to free Maine out of it's grimy clutches?

And also.... Because I said so.

The New Curse is ON. Count it. Tick... tick... tick...
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