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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Peter King Talks Moles

I normally don't like to rip shit professional writers for this particular poorly worded sentence or that incorrect hypothesis (afterall, we have integrity right?), but in this case, its something worthy of criticism and sometimes I can't resist.

An exerpt from King's most recent Monday Morning Quarterback:
"June 25, Clifton, N.J.: My wife had been on me for weeks -- months, really -- to get the burgeoning freckle/mole on my right forearm taken off, and so I saw a dermatologist who agreed it must go. I never would have gone on my own. Too busy. But I went. Mole removed. Size of an Atomic Fireball. Routine. Six stitches. Doc, Jonathan Gold, said I'm fine. Gave me 55 and 70 SPF sunscreen and told me to wear it. Life goes on."

"July 1, Clifton, N.J.: "I need you to come in today or tomorrow,'' Dr. Gold said on the phone. Oh? What for?'' "Your mole came back with a melanoma.'' Cancer. I think he said after that he thought it was contained within the original mole and tissue he cut out, but all I could think of is, What is this guy talking about? Isn't melanoma something for old people in the sun too long? "

"I go in the next day. The protocol for such things, I see on, is to cut out an area three-quarters of an inch in all directions to make sure the melanoma has not spread into the lymph nodes or bloodstream. The procedure was longer, and the smell of burning skin more intense as he burned and cut the innocent tissue away. "You'll always have a little dent in your forearm now,'' he said as he sewed up the gulf with 25 stitches, then looked down at his handiwork. "Looks like the laces on a football.'' "

"Heck of a job, doc. Thanks. Weird feeling. Much of the area between the wrist and the sutured wound I can't feel. Comatose nerves, hopefully. But an infinitesimal price to pay. And I never would have paid it if not for my wonderful wife telling me to take care of that little mark on the arm."

Then Peter gets a little preachy...look, I agree Skin Cancer is bad and I think you should try to prevent it...but seriously, I'm looking to read about football, not 3 pages on your vacation and how you almost had cancer. And I should learn from this. Ugh...

"I think if you take nothing else from this column, take this one little piece of Kingian advice: Wear your sunscreen every time you're outside in the sun for more than 15 minutes. It's something I wish I'd been more religious about over the last 30 years."

Sometimes Peter makes to too easy. If you're the leading football expert at (arguably) the top sports magazine in the country (maybe the world) and you're reduced to talking about moles...maybe its time to move on or admit its a bit slow this offseason.

That being said, Jemele Hill still sucks ( a hair better than Jason Whitlock...smaller tits though) Read more of MMQB here.

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