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Sunday, July 6, 2008

The LA Sports Blog: The Burns - Cynical Celeste

By: Nate Gordon

Cynical Celeste

I’m worn. I can’t think of a more appropriate way to articulate it. I’m just worn. July 1 st in my neighborhood means new leases, and move-ins to new (read: different but equally as shitty, but at least we bug bombed) apartments. So I’ve been moving in, and helping assorted friends move in, all while pulling a full work load without a vehicle because my breaks are shot. So I’ve been borrowing my roommates truck and praying that they gas gauge is broken as I barrel down US 101 South. The culmination of these things (oh did I mention my laptop is down?) have left me sitting in my office on this Sunday morning feeling exhausted and cynical. As always with being cynical, you can’t really keep it to yourself, you have to share your off color view of the situation, thusly bringing down someone else’s good mood. Anyway, let’s get to the Burns – old school style.

Packing up the Mayflowers’ and moving to OKC
Packing up the Mayflowers’ and moving to OKC

Seattle, I’m Sorry – Now Shut The Fack Up!

You want a story about a city and an owner that really bent over fans? Look no further then the capitol of the west coast, Los Angeles. Back in Brooklyn after the ’55 series Ebbets Field was deemed unsuitable for Major League play and it was Dodgers owner Walter O’Malley’s new obsession to find a suitable place to play in Brooklyn. He wanted to finance it himself as to not place burden on the people of the borough who he knew were working class. All he asked for was a parcel of land to be re-zoned by New York City planning commish Walter Moses. Moses wouldn’t do it, opting to try and force O’Malley to build Dodgers Park on the site of the World’s Fair in freeway friendly Flushing Meadows (this opposed O’Malley’s desires to build in downtown Brooklyn at the corner of Flatbush Ave. and Atlantic Ave.

The impasses could not be navigated and O’Malley stuck it to New York double time by convincing the Giants to move out west with him. After O’Malley’s failed 2 year bid to change Moses’ mind, the Giants knew they could never get a park they truly wanted after the Polo Grounds were worn out. They could only move to Flushing Meadows and obey Moses’ desires. So both teams flipped the finger to the City of New York and guess who was punished? Giants and Dodgers fans.

Seattle doesn’t have it bad, they waved goodbye to their team. AGM Burns friend SSR has pointed out that space is more limited then ever in Seattle to build a new arena. That should have been thought of before the Mariners and Seahawks got new ballparks. Or the people of Seattle could of gone to the city and proposed their “own” tax increase to build a stadium for their “own” team. However they choose to be stubborn, “We deserve our team, they’re ours!” they proclaimed. Their false sense of entitlement worn as a badge of pride. And you know where it got them? Their stubbornness and entitlement got them to a point where basketball moved from Seattle. Good job guys, that’s a way to not appear like stuck up, arrogant, Starbucks drinking liberals who believe what is America is owed to them, not earned. Guess what, you have to earn your keep in this America and you just lost yours. Enjoy the D-League Stubborn Seattle.

The Dodgers are poised to take over a tight NL West
The Dodgers are poised to take over a tight NL West

Speaking of the Dodgers

When your answer at shortstop for the injured Rafael Furcal is the Tin Man 4 years past his prime it may be time to start thinking about next season. However with the Dodgers (42-45) only a half game behind Arizona (43-45) nearing the all-star break you have to think two things are true about the NL West:

  • 88-90 games will take this division hands down
  • A move for Matt Hollidayor another power outfielder would push LA over the top.

The Dodgers need to start thinking about making that move for the power they need in the line up. At least point only Matt Kemp, Jeff Kent and Russell Martin have a real shot at topping 20 home runs this season – that’s bad. A trade of Andy LaRoche, a pitching prospect and Juan Pierre should be enough to get another bat in this line up. With Jason Schmidt coming off IR after the break, the Dodgers rotation starts to look really good with Brad Penny, Derek Lowe, Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw rounding out a solid group of arms. Eric Stults can then return to the bullpen where he belongs.

The Off-Season is heating up
The Off-Season is heating up

NBA Off-Season – Walker’s Rants Style

In a tribute to the great Walker’s Rants, I will do my Off-season bullets, in that format (or the best I can, I get a little extra ranty on each one.)

  • Washington Wizards front office should of told Agent Zero Take the same contract Antwan is, or find another employer. A 28 year old shooting guard with bad knees isn’t worth 100 million…
  • To my friend Elton Brand: If you re-sign, you change the whole culture and attitude of the NBA with one move…
  • Atlanta Hawks ownership are at an intersection that has two choices: Move forward (re-sign your restricted free agents and continue to build around Joe Johnson) or Move Back (let Smith and Childress leave and Johnson will bounce after his contract…)
  • Emeka Okafor – how you feel about turning down that extension now? I know Orlando is feeling really good about passing on you right about now…
  • …Same goes for Ben Gordon and Luol Deng…
  • To Mitch Kupcheck: Don’t make a major roster move until we near the trade deadline, let what you have put together play it out and see if it will all fit…


That’s my budget for Tennis for 2008…

I had a section on C.C.’s trade situation but he ate it for Sunday Brunch (and the table cloth) so on to the quotes:

Cartoon Quotes

  • Groundskeeper Willie : Ach Wendel. Tis a mighty puddle of puke.

Wendell : I'm sorry.

Groundskeeper Willie : That's all right lad. You reminded me of why I got into this work in the first place.

  • Bart : As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?

Homer : NEVER.

  • Lisa : This is pretty far to go just to spite Moe, isn't it?

Homer : It's not about spite, it's about petty revenge, and getting back at that traitor Moe.

  • Smithers : What's wrong with this country? Can't a man walk down the street without being offered a job?
Mr. Burns – AGM Burns Mascot

1 comment:

Dumont J. Walker III said...

Hah they say flattery is the best form of honor

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