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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Case In Taking Yourself Too Seriously

The following is a paraphrased translation of what I believe I may have just read at Murray Chass' 'About This Website' section of his "website". The website that he says is not a blog but looks, reads, smells and tastes suspiciously like a blog:

"This is a site for baseball information, but not baseball information from other equally well-informed human beings that call their websites 'blogs'. I do not like the fact that there is a medium out there that thrives on the freedom of speech. When someone asked me what I thought about people who are exercising their right to free speech, I replied, "I hate them." Yeah, that's right -- I hate them and if you haven't noticed, I don't play around.

Why so serious?

"If you find yourself categorized under this new informational movement that I hate, you are more than welcome to come visit. If your a stat freak, fantasy leaguer or Red Sox fan than you can stop by too. Basically, I'm inviting pretty much the entire United States to come visit this website that is definitely not a blog because I hate them.

"This website will primarily appeal to older fans who probably won't visit because they don't know how to use the internet. Or if they did, probably wouldn't want to come to this site because as you can tell, I'm more or less an absolute dick. Did I mention I hate stat freaks? Especially the ones who like stats that try and give us a better perspective on a players overall value to his team? I mean, what is that? Is no one satisfied with plain old RBI's anymore?

"I will be writing everything on this site, but will be inviting people who will most certainly decline unless I offer to pay them. Even then, there's a good chance they will still decline. Although I am the primary writer on this site, I will occasionally post things from the third person, as if it is being posted by an omniscient being so that I can quote myself multiple times.

"If you like swearing, and I don't because I had a job that did not let me openly curse while working, than please do not swear on here. Swearing is bad, but openly defiling things that others spend hours upon hours of their efforts on is not bad. In fact, it's good! I hate blogs!"

Well there you have it. I may have been slightly off on a couple of things, but this is a blog -- so that's to be expected!

[A special thanks to FJM for bringing this hilarious event to my attention as well as consistently making me laugh my ass off.]

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