An Abusive 10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit

Lots of interesting topics and frankly some of them are kind of disturbing and serious

1. Brian Giles pulls a "Brett Myers." Not exactly the public punching/hair pulling that happened in Boston with Myers, but Brian Giles's girlfriend (we're guessing former) is suing the Padres outfielder for numerous beatings, attacks and general unmanliness. She also claims Giles hit her while pregnant and caused the miscarriage of the couple's child. I'm not sure how criminal charges weren't involved (maybe they were), but a series of abuse by a ballplayer finally leading up to a lawsuit (civil) instead of criminal action strikes me as suspicious. And then of course...there's evidence. So it appears as though Giles's slump will extend beyond last year.
   
2. Mindy's meltdown. Apparently Roger Clemens's former lover attempted suicide yesterday. The whole issue wreaks of confusion, desperation and sadness. The Roger Clemens destruction parade is just crushing lives left and right...good for him...
3. Deadspin - King of the Simmons Conspiracy. One of the more fascinating writers around is indeed Bill Simmons. For better or for worse, the guy's an entertaining writer (or at least he steals the good stuff) and does know a lot about Boston sports and the eras, much like I do about Philadelphia or perhaps others do about their respective home regions. But over the last year or so, Deadspin has surmised that a rift has grown between its elite non-specific writer and the WWL. The most recent one is indeed a total crock of shit by my estimation but not without its own value...that the ESPN Ombudsman has imposed some type of rulebook and Simmons is a bit perturbed if not concerned over it. His assertions are valid by my estimation but more importantly, for better or worse, Simmons is one of us. He is/was a blogger. A writer of his own volition and one that may have to play by ESPN's rules more so than is own. I'm essentially free to write what I want and so is any other blogger. To stifle Simmons is a dig at the blogosphere and proof that old media and new media are destine to keep clashing for years.
4. Of Auburn and Racism. If you haven't heard, there's been ideas tossed around that race was the primary motivation behind not hiring Turner Gill and instead hiring Gene Chizik. Now, I'm confused by the whole thing myself, but it certainly wreaks of a little shit. Sir Charles's (an Auburn Alum) statements are certainly the most damning, but I think the outward theory that this hire was entirely racially motivated seems almost impossible. Maybe I'm wrong, but we've seen coordinators come out of no where to get hired before. With Chizik being a former Tiger coordinator himself, maybe Auburn had plans before the interview process even began? Or maybe they're just a bunch of rednecks?
5. And then there's Joe Paterno. This man is going to die on the sidelines. I've been waiting (not anxiously...I'm not a weirdo) for the odd news break to claim that good ole JoePa (A Penn State folk hero, now) has died...during practice. You can't tell me this isn't going to happen. This guy is football. He loves the game. But more importantly, he loves his players and his college. He wants each and every one of them to succeed...at life. And for that, this man should be revered.
   
6. Its time for a playoff. When the BCS Bowls are named and Bowl season times, it means one more thing: Playoff talk. And while its been discussed ad nauseum, its still valid. If Division 1-AA (and Divisions 2 and 3), the NFL and the Arena league can do it, why can't D-1A? There's so many ways to go about it, so many ways to continue the old Bowl system regardless and so many ways to increase marketing and money making. I'd even argue that its actually more beneficial to the game, interest and to the money-hungry big conferences. So what is a Boise State wins 1 game over Oklahoma...the odds of them making it to a semi-final or final are still slim to none. And even if one game is a clunker as far as attendence of home fans (which I still doubt), don't forget the other 7 games for the first round!
7. Goodbye to this shitty place. People rarely uttered a peep when they blew up the Vet, but why is Texas stadium being revered. The place is a shithole. It has a stupid hole in the roof and houses the Cowboys. Just blow the friggin' thing up already
8. Mets swindled my Madoff. Considering all the charities ripped off by this guy, I don't feel too bad for the guy who owns the Mets. Sad part is, it didn't even effect their payroll; talk about financial stability. Me's thinks Wilpon is still oozing with cash
9. Marshall Faulk, The Dallas Media, and Jason Garrett's free pass. And Marshall is right. While most local media outlets don't necessarily try to damage the team (or bite the hand that feeds), the Dallas media goes so far as to support the team. And that's disgusting. Its a fraudulent way to do business and only goes to enhance the bullshit that is "America's Team." What a crock of shit.
   
10. And this one doesn't stink. RIP Sammy Baugh. And I mean this in the nicest way possible. Goodbye to one of the greats who changed the game it made it what it was today...even if he was a Redskin...
    

A Piping Hot Stove Pile of 10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit (12/10/08)

With Baseball's Hot Stove at full burn and the NCAA Football Bowl Games slate coming to a full boil, we have lots to bitch about and there's at least 10 things that smell like shit...

1. C.C. You in New York. If you haven't heard already; it appears as though C.C. Sabathia will sign the richest contract for a pitcher in baseball history. This will blow away the previous record(s)...all set by the Yankees anyway. Its looking like 7 years and $160 million or almost $23 million per year. Plus Sabathia is rumored to have an opt out clause after three years (and $69 million) so that he can either seek a new team or reup for maybe even more. With this economy (even though the Yankees seem uneffected), I can't imagine him getting a better deal elsewhere until his career is over.
   
2. Mets add K-Rod. On the face of it, this looks like a solid move. And moreover, the 3 years $37 million deal is certainly appetizing for a rich team capable of tossing off a few dead years if they really need to. So what's the hitch? Well, the Angels are rumored to be saving cash for Teixeira or Ramiriz, but I believe the real reason they passed is because after they used up K-Rod for the stretch run, they knew he wasn't going to be worth the cash. Why go from 5 years $75 million to 3 and $37 million? So while this solidifies the Mets pen beyond the likes of Sanchez or Wagner, it still leaves questions; especially when they'll be contending with the defending World (Fucking) Champions next year.
3. Porter Defends Burress. Now let's get one thing straight: I'm fine with the 2nd amendment, though I don't own a gun (and wouldn't really buy one save maybe a rifle to go hunting with if I ever became interested). Now Joey Porter went on TV (specifically ESPN's First Take) to defend Plexiglass and his gun. First of all, Plaxico broke the law. There may be an argument that said NYC law violates the 2nd amendment, but the fact of the matter is, the people of NYC (via their legislators) wanted it and its now illegal. So yes, Plaxico broke the law and I believe he should be punished to the extent that anyone with a similar record would. Secondly. Joey Porter? What the shit? If someone's going to rob you, are you just gonna bust out your 9mm and point it back? You're right Joey, I don't know because A) I don't have that kind of cash B) I certainly don't flaunt it (or act like I do) and C) I attempt to avoid those situations in general. Legal or not, I just don't see the value in a firearm, especially when you're going to a club and you've got a few buds surrounding you. A couple of dudes aren't gonna come and stick you up and its not like you're gonna be walking down that dark alley by yourself any time soon. What the hell are you talking about Joey?
4. The C.C. Salary Simulator. I'm not quite sure there's anything more depressing than this. ESPN created a simple calculator program that, using average salaries and statistics will compare your current salary to his. Depressing to say the least. And in this economy, I can't imagine anyone being to thrilled by the results.
5. Saying Goodbye to the Wizard. I'm a Phillies fan, but even I marveled at the Wizard, Greg Maddux's success through the years. He quietly dominated a hitting (and steroided) era, and became the winningest pitcher of said era. Baseball (and its fans) will miss him. Oh, and don't forget; Chicks Dig the Long Ball.
6. Teixeira Sees Sabathia...is he going for a raise? There are quite a few teams that have interest in the second best first baseman in the league (Albert Pujols being numero uno) and the price tag seems fairly close to Sabathia's. And with so many teams rumored to be interested in his services (Nationals, Orioles, Red Sox, Yankees and Angels off the top of my head), its hard to imagine a scenario where there isn't some type of bidding war. The Nats have already offered 8 years and $160 million, which is ideal for Tex because of both the cash and location (his family is in Maryland), but a chance to play for contenders like the Angels or Red Sox cannot be denied. Plus, speaking from experience, a flight from Boston to Baltimore is cheap and easy...not that price will ever be an issue.
   
7. Jerry Jones Pries His Foot Out of His Mouth. If you didn't hear what Jerry Jones said about Marion Barber prior the Dallas-Pittsburgh game, you missed a lot. Essentially, Jones questioned Barber's toughness and dedication to be on the field regardless of the toe injury. Jone "backpedaled" yesterday by saying:

   “We all know how tough Marion Barber is, but when he had his injury I felt, look, you'd have to shoot him to keep him off the football field,” Jones said. “So I was surprised that we didn't have him. That's not meant to be critical of his toughness. It did come out that way, but fundamentally it was because he is so tough that you would have thought that he could play.”

   "old strategy cotton, let's see if it pays off."
   
8. Miller gets got. An interesting story out of Buffalo Sabres camp, especially in the wake of Sean Avery's 6 game suspension for a "sloppy seconds" remark. Apparently during a highly contested Sabres game, Ryan Miller, Sabres goaltender, expressed his concerns over the officiating for the game. Apparently, Miller was "asking a questions" regarding the officiating and claims the official told him "to go[fuck] himself."

   “To be honest, I was respectful. I asked him a question and he told me maybe I should ‘go [bleep] myself.’ ” - Ryan Miller, Sabres Goalie

   Frankly, this is a stunning development, though I am slightly surprised we don't hear about this a bit more often. Its not unusual for the occasional "off the handle" comment, but it certainly is unprofessional. Highlights from tape of the game show a discussion between Miller and the referee and certainly some type of distaste, but its hard to tell what's going on. I'll be anxious to see the response from both the league and official, as the Sabres PR department has no comment.
9. Portis Vs. Zorn...ding! If you haven't seen this one yet, let me just say, it certainly is a sign of the end of the NFL season for the Washington Redskins. After being handled by the Ravens last Sunday and infighting beginning after said game, its just a sign that this team is now lost after going 6-2 in the first half of the season and 1-4 since. Portis was upset over his lack of attention in the 2nd half of the Ravens game (already down 14 points) and his one single carry in the 2nd half on. In 10 previous carries, Portis had 29 yards total. Hard to see why they'd keep going to him when they needed points. And while Portis complained about a lack of playing time, with his injuries and Ladell Betts practice time (to block) its not hard to understand why Zorn kept Betts in.
   
10. And this one stinks for a different reason. Matt Cassel lost his father yesterday. Fortunately, the Patriots were on the West Coast all week, so Cassel simply left Northern California for his home in L.A. I personally can't imagine being age 26 and losing my father, so I think I speak for everyone here are BNB when I say we all send our condolences to the Cassel Family
    

A Very Plaxico 10 Things I Think Smell like Shit

Today's "10 Things..." is a special one. Thanks to the ammunition (pun intended) provided by Plaxico Burress over the last week regarding his illegal hand gun incident. So while you can bet it will be filled with lots of Plaxisms and Puns, we'll do our best to give you some other stinky things.

1. Plax Forgot the Safety. If you haven't heard already, Plaxico "Plexiglass" Burress shot himself in the league last Saturday. It was a simply flesh wound that technically wouldn't have held him out too long (we're guessing a month till he'd be back in football shape), but the ramifications of the incident were widespread. For one, he clearly got into a club via alternative means, as no guns were allowed (displaying special treatment), he forgot the friggin' safety on said gun in his pocket, he did not have a concealed weapons permit (though its likely he could never get one given previous incidents he was involved in), he provided fake information to a special doctor at the hospital (who knew he was lieing) and now the state of New York appears primed to "throw the book at him."
   
2. And now the fallout from the Burress Incident has affected others. The doctor who treated Plax is being suspended by the hospital that served him because of the phony information condoned by said doctor. Now, I can't blame the hospital for doing it, but I'm curious as to whether such an incident would have such ramifications had this person not been high profile. Yes, for each athlete who gets off for being famous (and annoys me) there's a contrary case where such an athlete should be punished as any other person. It seems only fair to me
3. And the Giants have ended his season. Heh, you saw this one coming. With Plax likely out a month due to the injury (and others) and likely facing a suspension handed down from the Commish, the Giants placed Burress on the non-injury IR list as well as suspended him for conduct detrimental to the team; thus ending his season and allowing them to avoid payment of roughly $800,000.00...Ouch. Best part is, because the Giants both suspended him and placed him on IR, they have twice as many chances of winning a grievance. Remember, Guns don't kill people, but they sure as hell fuck shit up.
   
4. Charlie Weis - Hotter than Hell. In South Bend, the Charlie Weis situation is getting hotter and hotter. Weis hasn't exactly lead the Irish to the promised land and in the wake of a .500 season with a potential bowl bid being turned down by the Irish, it seems Weis could be in real jeopardy (not surprising). But what compounds the issue is the precedent of coaches like Ty Willingham, a black coach fired after the same number of seasons and poor performance as well as Weis's massive contract. Clearly, the issue is Weis's coaching as he's managed a few top 10 recruiting classes. On the plus side, with Josh McDaniels being the hot commodity in New England, perhaps Weis could reunited with Bill Belichick in 2009 as the Offense Coordinator...oh and still collect paychecks from Notre Dame
5. Oh how the mighty have fallen. As our own Ben Heck alluded to yesteday, the Browns have gone from having two pretty good QBs to 0. The Browns already placed Derek Anderson on IR after he tore his MCL and then Brady Quinn is expected to have surgery on his hand which will probably result in the same IR placement. And now the Browns have signed Bruce Gradkowski which really shows confidence in former Miami (NCAA) and San Francisco (NFL) QB, Ken Dorsey (though I can understand why, he sucks). Still 6 in one, half a dozen in the other as neither QB will help the Brownies to the playoffs and frankly, if you're a Browns fan, you're rooting for 4-12 or the like with the hopes of a good draft pick, that is unless they trade it.
   
6. Starcaps? Well, the NFL finally handed out the suspensions for players related to the Starcaps positive tests. The suspensions appear to kill the playoff hopes of the first place Vikings and probably any chance the Saints had as well. But believe me, this story is far from over and I'm interested to see how the players will respond post-suspension regarding Starcaps and potential legal action.
   
7. Plagiarism across the border. As reported by PFT, apparently Chris Landry of Sportsnet.ca (who?) "borrowed" a little too much from Andrew Brandt and Michael Lombardi of NationalFootballPost.com. PFT has drawn the line and the war between the two certainly should be interesting. Bravo to Florio for digging this one up (I hope he doesn't read me).
   
8. (Via MLBTR), C.C. Sabathia bides the Yankees time. The fact of the matter is C.C. Sabathia doesn't want to play for the Yankees, but they're offering the most money. Rumor has it, his wife would like to see him in San Fran (or Oakland I suppose, though there is no way Beane signs him without a ridiculous discount), and he's open to either L.A. team (bleh, or Anaheim, whatever you call 'em). He wants to stay in Cali because that's where he's from, but he needs one team to pony up enough cash to make it worth it, I can only see the Angels doing that, though the Dodgers can afford it. Still, if the Yankees push the deal, he could be in pinstripes or left in the lurch with no bargaining power.
   
9. Sean Avery gets the just desserts. First let me say, I think Sean Avery is the biggest douchebag in the NHL. That being said, what he said about Elisha Cuthbert is both rude and pretty funny (and kinda stupid). Suspending Avery seems like a pretty severe punishment for such a comment:

   For the record, Avery - unsolicited - stepped in front of a bank of microphones in the visitors' dressing room yesterday morning and said: "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight."

   The comment was regarding his previous relationship with Cuthbert (who's really friggin' hot, by the way) and her current relationship with Dion Phaneuf. Problem is, Avery most likely got the sloppy seconds (as it were) of Cuthbert from someone else (assuming she wasn't a virgin at the time) so its really the pot and the kettle right here. Frankly, the whole thing is stupid, but because Avery said it (and he's a dickhead), I have no problem with the suspension.
   
10. Citibank keeps Citi Field for the Citi. With Citigroup being bailed out by the Feds there is an uprising over the naming rights of Citi Field, the new home of the Mets and the $20 million per year pricetag to keep that name. I can understand the public's frustration, but from a business end, why does a bailout mean no advertising. I haven't heard much of an uprising over the AIG sponsorship of Manchester United (is there one?) and yet this issue seems so poignant. Its a valid concern, but if you'd like Citigroup to repay everyone and/or being a going concern, then why not let them advertise in order to make more money. That's the idea right?

No Ties in Our 10 Things I Think that Smell Like Shit

Another week of sports, another week of 10 things that seem just a little too ripe.

1. The NFL Dress Code? No Ties! Perhaps its shocking that Donovan McNabb wasn't aware of ties in the NFL or not (according to Big Ben), but it is disappointing. Still, I cannot fully comprehend how McNabb could not know the rule, but still play the OT period like he did (with a last second heave...suggesting the game could end). What's more baffling is that this is the lead story on the Eagles and not Andy Reid who insisted on passing almost 60 times even though his QB has tossed 3 INTs. Oh, and he's been McNabb's coach for 10 years (and only NFL coach)...so we can only assume he's the only teacher McNabb's had for NFL rules. Seems reasonable
2. Kaiser Goodell wants an ID card too. The lead is a bit unfair. Roger Goodell actually wants to cut down on scalping and I have to admit, more power to him. While its nice to be able to acquire the big ticket you want, its frustrating when it costs 5 to 10 times its face value. Of course I'm curious to see how that impacts the sales days that typically occur months before the season...and moreover if scalpers aren't buying them in bunches, do the time windows (sometimes meer minutes for a season's worth of tickets available) expand because big time scalpers arent buying them up. If it takes Goodell's plan to allow me to get my ticket at a reasonable price, I'm all for it...ID or no ID.
   
3. C.C. Dragging his Feet. Rumor out of New York is Sabathia is waiting for the L.A. offer before he starts negotiating. Sabathia would love to go to California, but only is the L.A. offer is only slightly less than NY's. And given the way the Yankees are posturing, I don't see that happening. Given the way the Yankees are, I don't really blame C.C. but he is just another player who will feel the heat given people's reactions to large payouts.
   
4. Rich Rod needs to 'Get a Life'. Praise be to Michigan bloggers, fanboys and message board posters alike. Apparently Rich Rodriguez not only reads you, but doesn't like what you write. As a message board veteran, everyone knows that the anonymity causes venom to spew and frankly you can't take any of it too seriously...unless you're the headcoach of a premier college football program in the midst of its worst season...ever
5. Re: Pacman might be back...man. Pacman has again completed alcohol counseling and is eagerly awaiting a Roger Goodell implemented reinstatement. Is there any bigger joke in the NFL today? Ok, save McNabb et al. I just don't understand how, even assuming that this most recent transgressions are minor by comparison, you can simply let the guy walk back in. But with Jerruh the owner, we all know, money talks and bullshit walks
6. Tiki lays it down on McNabb. Another Tiki Barber speaking moment, another dissed QB. Of course the last time this happened, said QB won a Super Bowl (does this work again). Why does Tiki talk anymore? Has he reached overpaid status? Will he and McNabb compare Super Bowl Rings? Does he steal Ronde's?
7. Economy sets sights on LPGA. Every league is facing it, but now the LPGA is living it. As a (relatively) premier sports league, the LPGA is making drastic changes to its schedule to ensure is long term viability. Fan or not, it truly goes to show how bad things are.
   
8. That guy...didn't vote for Howard. As a lead for yesterday's DLL's, I pointed out how Albert Poo-Holes (deservingly) won the MVP in the NL. That doesn't mean I didn't think Howard didn't deserve mention, especially considering you pick your top 10 (each writer that is). Thefightins.com found that guy who didn't vote for Howard. What a dick!
9. He can't do it all. Davidson is currently ranked 21st in the nation and they'll probably acquire the automatic bid to the tourney by virtue of the Southern Conference standings but in all his 35 ppg magic, Stephon Curry is doing it all by himself. The man is a college basketball god, who's giving bracketologists creamy upset special (as much of an upset as a #9 seed can be) wet dreams. X-Factor has a name...and its Stephon Curry.
   
10. And this one doesn't stink. Golfer J.P. Hayes realizes he was "cheating" during a PGA Qualfier and turns himself in. As a golf leyman, I really don't see the impact that the ball could have had (who knows, maybe it was huge), but I'm J.P. Hayes could and did. Hayes, realizing he was using an unapproved ball, told an official, after he used it for two shots, that it was unapproved and was penalized for it. Then, he spoke with an official that night and (and I'm just piecing it together here) was essentially told the ball would disqualify him. Hayes will not be a full fledged member of the tour because of his honesty and, while I respect his honesty, I do not believe he should be allowed on simply because he was honest. Still, don't feel bad for Hayes, he has over $7 million in career earnings. Again, don't feel bad, but respect the man and his integrity.
    

On Schedule "10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit" (11/12/08)

10 Things... appears to be back on schedule. Our handsome deuce-dropping compadre has been brought back after a 2 week hiatus and we're back to declaring 10 shitty shitty things each week.

So if you're watching your 401k sink again today, sit back, relax and enjoy 10 things...

1. World Series Whoops! While it appears as though ESPN gave as much face time to this year's World Series (of Baseball) as World Series of Poker, Josh Elliot of ESPN made perhaps the biggest gaffe in the history of ESPN and the WSOP's relationship. You see, ESPN went to some length in order to protect the integrity of its replays, attempting to push of the final table event until last Sunday and allowed it to be boiled down by the replay last night. Of course, Josh Elliot, simply reporting the news, reported the winner regardless (though taking some effort to warn potential viewers). Perhaps the worst part is...ESPN's bottom line took care of whatever viewers Josh Elliot managed to help.
   
2. Official Complaints are Trendy. As we led with yesterday in the Daily Links and our newest BNBer SSReporters followed up on, Monday's 49ers-Cardinals matchup featured a bizarre. The latest on this? Mike Martz and Mike Singletary are now blaming the officials for confusion as to the spot of the ball, the time on the clock and the relaying of information regarding the two formers. It was the officials damnit, they didn't tell us!
3. The Dodgers top...well, themselves. Baseball free agency doesn't start until Friday, but the Dodgers are already in a bidding war. With Themselves. After essentially having their two year 45 million dollar offer rejected, it appears as though the Dodgers have now offered a three year deal worth close to 60 million. Scott Boras is expected to still rejected and Manny seems primed to be looking for at least a four year deal worth upwards of 80 million. 37 year old outfielders deserve that, right?
4. In our TMZ moment, we think Yoko Romo is still a bitch. Seriously, how pissed is Eli Manning. He's healthy. His team is 8-1. He's got a ring. And yet Yoko Romo still toys around with the football bobbling, goofy grinning, spotlight shying, "aw-shucks" alternate QB. Well, at least we know they're still dating. Could be worse...
5. Phuck the Nation. Entertaining (if not overzealous) thefightins.com writer "How Do You Spell Retard" (his name, not ours...) does not believe Phillies Fans will ever form a "Nation." He's right, but it wouldn't be HDYSR without at least a few "Fuck Bostons" thrown in there for good measure. I agree though...stupid name. Does Yankee Country secede the union then (or is it the other way around?)
6. Your Schillings Worth. If you're a Phillies fan, you have a certain respect for Curt Schilling. You may think he's a dick for his exit from town, but you understood why and you sorta know he was right. Now MLBTradeRumors is suggesting he is interested in both the Phillies and D-Bags (though the Red Sox could also be an option, in my opinion). Naturally, I don't see Schill being anywhere during Spring training and the signing will be as much dictated by the teams and money as by injury issues for each. Of course the Phillies could then start two players with a combined age of 90 (and a combined fastball of 90 as well).
   
7. Fire Andy Reid. This concept has been swirling around almost since the Super Bowl loss, but really since about last year, when the Eagles finished 8-8 (winning their last 3...pointlessly). Now, with the Eagles stuck in neutral (5-4) and Reid's playcalling becoming apparently loosey goosey at best, Eagles fans are at a crossroads. To me, he's built some of the best Eagles teams in history and is arguably the best Eagles coach ever, but his gameday skills are poor and his personal decisions (though often fueled by money and the men upstairs) are questionable at times. If Reid got fired and/or kicked upstairs at season's end, I can't say I'd be too upset, but if something doesn't change the path this team is following, I know many of my fellow fans will only become more restless.
8. Sean Avery (no further comment needed). He's a dick. He treats the game like shit. He's dangerous and apparently he's an asshole in the lockerroom. If that guy was on my team, I'd just let him get his ass beat on the ice. I hope Dustin Brown levels him tonight
9. Stephon to San An. With the Knicks dotteling around the Stephon Marbury situation and Starbury sitting in limbo, we're (along with Marbury himself) left to ponder what's next. Apparently Marbury seems open to the idea of playing for a contenda'. I can't say I'd blame him but I would be curious to see what effect Starubury would have on a team like that, especially when he has to play second fiddle to Mr. Longoria in December. Whatever, Marbury still sells sweet 15 dollar sneakers.
   
10. And this one doesn't stink: Welcome our newest BNBer Mookie (A.K.A. SSReporters). We at BNB have admittedly lost our groove at times, postings have been irregular on occasion and that's why we've brought Mookie on board. He's a fellow/former AGMer and runs his own blog at SSReporters. He should be a nice addition and a west coast personality to compliment the numerous east coasters we've already got.
    

Friday AM - 10 Things I Think Smell like Shit

I apologize for the delay in our weekly "10 Things..." but I've been under the weather this week and haven't really been able to post (or get out of bed).

But I'm back today. Coffee in one hand, cold meds in the other trying to rock out the rest of the week as best I can.

1. Broncos Win, but you probably didn't see it. Look, I think these Thursday night games are fantastic for the NFL and the viewing audience in general, but having them on the NFL Network totally defeats the purpose. As an avid NFL fan, I'll watch Pro Football almost any time I see it, but if its on the NFL Network, I ain't seeing it, nor am I shelling out 10 dollars a month for 6 games I really don't care about. You're dumb NFL...very dumb
2. Vhere's the Money Manny? Seriously, a contract offer approximated at somewhere between 23 and 25 million a year over 2 years (with an option for a 3rd) and its not enough for a soon to be 37 year old slugger? Economic Downturn? Not so much.
   
3. Simmons Vs. ESPN - Round 2. It was in probably the most ridiculous sports feud this decade, Bill Simmons is at odds with ESPN. Upset that ESPN didn't carry his Week 9 NFL picks, he posted them on his personal blog. Dave of Scotts Shots caught up with ESPN to little avail. I'd feel bad Simmons is if you'd mention the fact that the Phillies are better than the Sox...but you haven't, so you get no sympathy from me you two-faced, bandwagoning bastard (yeah, I said it).
4. The Death of BNB's Father? Not literally, but the ArmchairGM phenominom has been slowing down (comment-wise) for months. If you're a loyal reader (or the other guy who reads us is) please feel free to stop by and have some fun.
5. Oh Jake Peavy Where Art Thou? In an interesting rumor (or practically fact) Jake Peavy is being traded. But the fact that the teams involved appear to be from the NL almost entirely is stunning...moreover, the fact that any NL West team could be involved really threatens the quality of baseball out west...even more so than already.
   
6. No Cuban? No Way? Across the rumor-wire this morning game the stunning development that the Cubs will be sold (ok, not that) but not to Mark Cuban (that). Even as someone who doesn't have a rooting interest in the Cubs, that's unfortunate. One of baseball's most faithful fanbases deserves an owner who would care as much as them and the boy's club that is MLB owners not allowing that is offensive and anti-capitalistic...
7. Speaking of Chicago, Stay Classy Guys. As Deadspin just reported, Chicago MLS fans kept it classy during their celebration of clinching an MLS Cup Birth...by giving the camera the finger. Nice.
8. The GM Meetings...did nothing. In a whirlwind offseason for this fan, the GM meetings of this fall did little to tantalize hotstover lovers. While these meetings did little, they apparently (according to SI) have set up a future chain of events that may rock numerous baseball teams...fun!
9. Cole Hamels...Celebrity. As any good World Champion would (heh), Cole Hamels has made the rounds, going from ace pitcher to Hollywood whore. Just keep in mind Cole, you're only allowed to have an ego, when you have a dynasty...to quote Republicans in 2004..."Four More Years!"
   
10. And this one doesn't stink. Barack Obama Elected first black President of the United States. Like I've said before, I'll rarely mention politics without a mocking tone, but this event (historically) cannot be passed up. Regardless of your side of the aisle or your beliefs, the momentus occasion of electing a black president is one that represents a significant step (in concrete terms) of America's growth. But what I'm most proud of is that this context, speaking as a young white man, meant little until after the election. What I mean by that is, Obama's color, race, creed, etc. had little, if nothing to do with my opinion, beliefs about him or how I would vote (as I'm sure and hope many others would agree) and for that I believe America has made significant progress.
    

10 Things...That Don't Smell Like Shit At All

Its a special time in Philadelphia. 2 hours from now, the championship red pinstripers will be parading down Broad and Market Streets (amongst others) receiving the cheers (and no jeers) of, literally, millions of fans. Its a fantastic day to be a Philly fan. One issue has got me thinking though; the once "woe is me" attitude that has plagued Philly fans, marred them with disgusting losses and extreme futility is now gone. The mantra will change...but the attitude. What's to complaint about now? At this point it doesn't matter, let's just sit back and enjoy the afterglow of a champion.

1. Championship Gear and no room for a Second Mortgage. I have many rules about buying gear, but most of them, if not all, generally get broken when a team becomes a champion. I say this like its happened before. Frankly, since 1997, I've purchased numerous "2nd place" items (Conf. Championship gear), but only sparingly, as I didn't find the true value, but still splurged a little. In this case, it seems like the ideal time to splurge and I will buy many things but...with prices like this and an economy like this, you really have to wonder about 25 dollar t-shirts and 110 dollar jerseys.
   
2. Uncle Charlie's "This is for Philadelphia." And with that, Charlie Manuel become an iconic Philadelphia hero, and the owner of a proud spot in the Philadelphia Sports Pantheon. His speech, his passion, his respect for the fans was my first true moment of "We've made it!" But that little diddy of a speech, even slightly incoherent, was one of my favorite moments in sports history for that town.
   
3. Jimmy was Right. After Carlos Beltran's "To Jimmy Rollins, We're the Team to beat." proclaimation earlier this year, Young James responded with his own ridiculous proclaimation...That the Phillies would win 100 games. They won 103 and a title. Touche Jimmy, Touche.
   
4. Parade, Parade, Parade. Its okay to say it. Philadelphia's having a parade today. It's a joyous time and even I'll be enjoying it from afar.
   
5. Charlie, We were Wrong. Especially Eskin. Charlie Manuel have been the subject of much grief in Philadelphia. He's been called stupid, a bumkin and even almost came to blows with Phildelphia sports personality, Howard Eskin. I'm here to officially apologize to Charlie, as even I called for his firing. I was wrong Charlie and I've never been so happy to eat crow in my life.
   
6. Fire up the Hot Stove. 157 days till spring training. This, both literally and figuratively will be the shortest offseason yet. But Free Agency is 15 days away and times are a-changin'.
   
7. The 100 Season Wait is Over. Sure its an overdue title and Philly fans almost claim to deserve it, but they've been held hostage by years of almosts, maybes and lots of bad management. The waits over now and maybe it's time to turn the corner. A whole generation of titleless fans now share the joy that those of the 70s and 80s so fondly remember.
   
8. And the Winner is... Well, Jayson Stark picked the Phils in 6, while Peter Gammons and Jerry Crasnik picked the Phils in 7; all the other ESPN schmucks when Rays in varying degrees with Jim Caple picking a Rays sweet (whoops!). ESPN batted .300 on the call. Sports Illustrated's John Heyman and Albert Chen also picked the Phils in 6 while Tom Verducci and Michael Bamberger had them in 7. No one at SI had the series going in either favor for less than 6 games. SI batted .444 for the Series.
   
9. Enjoy the Day. Much like I've derided by Beantown brethern during their numerous (too numerous, fucking douchebags) parades and championship riots, let's keep the celebrating, clean fun and downright drunken. I agree, I never got why people felt the need to vandalize. Sit back and enjoy it, don't "be a jackass" (thanks Nutter).
   
10. And for today. Here it is. Replays of the 1980 Series, the Parade and Rally and then replays of the 2008 model. Sit back, relax and enjoy.
    

Go Phils!

10 Things I Think Smell like Shit (10/22/08)

Busy day and a busy night for sports. With the World Series starting tomorrow, there's lots of things that smell like shit...

1. Brett Favre, Backstabber. I have to think this is a lot smaller deal than is being made but: This just wreaks of sour grapes on Favre's fault. If I were a Packers fan, I just don't know what I'd think of Favre anymore...no one is above the colors as far as I'm concerned, not All-Pro, Future Hall of Famers, Stud RBs, GMs or Owners...
2. Same Sports Guy, Same Sports Bullshit. Leave it to Bill Simmons to not even mention the World Series. Is this guy serious? The guy, preping to hop on the NHL/Bruins bandwagon, orders the NHL package on DirectTV but won't mentioned the biggest event in baseball because his favorite team isn't in. Look, this guy's a crock and when the Bruins get good and he hops on the wagon, know that you read it here first. He's full of shit...
3. Pacman's well ahead of the Joneses. An interesting discussion about the treatment of Pacman versus Larry Johnson (Jones, as I've been told) and Matt Jones. Frankly, I've had enough with these chances...Fool me once, shame on you, fool me 14 times...and...uh...well you don't get fooled again. Kaiser Goodell frankly has bumbled the whole thing. I wish he'd step up and set a clear line for all. Clarity has lacked to say the least.
   
4. Daulerio's Faith. Deadspin's editor and chief is a fellow Philly fan. And he's got the confidence all rational Phils fans have...we're fucked.
   
5. Domo arigato Romo. Tony Romo is out until Mid-November. At least he made it clear. Between Jerruh's sketchy trade, a 20 point blowout by the Rams and Romo's gal, its been a weird season for the Cowboys. Oh and T.O. is involved...so they've got that going for them...I love waiting for the Cowboys implosion.
6. Sign that Ref up. Sure you can call out Ed Hochuli all you want, but at least he wasn't this guy. Seriously, how is this guy not also getting death threats...Yeah, Hochuli is...
7. Pick Em? Riiiight. ESPN did their usual pick 'em for the World Series. As of this weekend only one guy (Peter Gammons) picked the Phils. Its up to 3 (out of 10) now, but all the Phillies guys, said Phils in 6 or 7. Of course, they did the same thing for the NLCS...that worked out well, right?
8. Kellen Winslow...not so bad now is he. He's still kinda right. The whole incident just has no winners out of the whole thing. Kellen was being a vindictive bitch, but the Browns hiding the issue has some clear ethical issues as well. I don't like it and it only goes to prove where money talks and bullshit walks.
   
9. A non-stinker, Philly's ideal Celeb. Its Kelly Monaco. And for all those Dancing with the Stars fans, puuuhhhhllleeeassseeee. She was in Playboy before that.
   
10. And this one doesn't stink: Why Can't Us. Seriously, besides the fact that they've embraced the whole grammatically incorrect thing, but its also for a good cause. Order here
    

Its coming...(10/22/08)

I know its mid-day and you're banking on "10 things"...

Its coming, I promise you. I just had to stop at the eye doctor today and they managed to dilate (unnecessary) eyes to the point where my face is ridiculously close to the monitor so I can type this.

But I've been told it will wear off soon enough. Have no fear, the smell of shit will proliferate through BNB soon enough.

Thursday Evening "10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit" (10/16/08)

With the Phils spectacular win and my job requiring, I don't know, some work, I wasn't able to post yesterday. But feat not, 10 Things... was still kept. Let's see what's stinkin' today

1. T.J. Simers hackismo. If you didn't know, T.J. Simers is a pathetic excuse for a writer at the L.A. Times (which is really saying something, they also employ Bill Plaschke), who has taken to bashing the hell out of Philly, declaring, amongst other things, that the pissed off fan base doesn't deserve a winner. Subsequently, he's been subjected to numerous blogging banter that is frankly living up the the Angryville name Simers provided. This fraud of a writer now experienced some real fanship. The Dodgers got whupped 4-1 in a series and Philly fans watched as their L.A. counterparts arrived after the 1st and left before the 8th. Topping that, videos have surfaced of fraudulent L.A. fans douchebagging it up. Simers response for the poor attitude in L.A.? "I was afraid of this, knowing some folks born in Philly have probably moved here and become Dodgers fans over the years. The thing is, you just can't take the Angryville out of them, which obviously explains all the problems in Dodger Stadium."
   
2. Too Much Champagne. Discussions have been abound on the internet (and some popular sports writers) regarding champagne celebrations throughout MLB. For some, its been an all out celebration for each step. Some are more subdued then others, but frankly they're all too much. Winning your division? Sure pop the cork and have a few minutes of fun. But Division Series and Championship Series victories mere weeks apart? Just crack a cold one. I understand a young team like the Rays grasping at each chance, but teams like the Red Sox or even the Phillies need not apply...they've taken these steps, no need to celebrate your next business trip.
3. Obama's Delay. And here's praying for a sweep. Barack Obama will preempt FOX pregram for Game 6 of the World Series to provide Barack Obama with a 30 minute ad for his run at the Oval Office. I prefer my sports with politics (on the sideline). The RNC is protesting such a move...because they didn't think of it first. Frankly, the whole thing makes me sick.
   
4. Wait, We're Still Talking About Favre? And you don't care. And you shouldn't. ESPN is now debating who got the best of the Favre deal; after 6 weeks of the season. Apparently nothing else is going on.
5. Pacman is back...man. As I'm sure you heard earlier this week. Pacman was back to his old tricks. He's done with chances as far as I see it. No matter what you do for the guy, he doesn't get it. I say, let him walk.
   
6. Wow Whitlock. Even for a hater, its impressive when KC Star's Jason Whitlock gets one right. Scoop just can't get it right...and he's not helping anyone.
   
7. Don't Cap Mr. Penn. The rumors were out that once high seated William Penn was to be fitted with a Phillies cap. Mr. Penn has already been covered with a cap in 1993 and a Flyers Jersey in 1997, but fear of curses squashed that, thinking it was the cause for both losses. Turns out, as a result of the Eagles and Sixers runs, there's no such curse. But Mayor Michael Nutter isn't taking any risks. No Cap.
8. Pessimism? If you've talked to a Phillies fan lately, you know s/he's pretty happy. But as happy as they seem, they know it doesn't mean squat. Don't act like they haven't won shit yet, they've done better than you, unless your a Sox fan (and even then, you've got a few hours at most). You say you're a Rays fan? Bullshit. So let the Philly guy get back to pessimism himself, he doesn't need your help.
   
9. Simmons back to form. Its true, I gave Bill Simmons a sweetheart article not too long ago. I was wrong, he's back to form and the typical bullshit about basketball and him being better than you. Stop Reading him...please
   
10. And This One Doesn't Stink: God Bless Uncle Charlie. You may think its pretty tough for the old fella to push through a few games of tough NLCS baseball to make it, but frankly, I think for good ole uncle Cholly it was the best medicine. Charlie Manuel lost his mother last week. I sympathize with that (though I've never experienced anything like that). I'm sure it weighed on Charlie's heart and I imagine there were times he would have preferred to go home. But that game, those guys in the clubhouse and perhaps the thought of doing what he loved...what his mother would have wanted, made it just a little bit easier.
    

Introducing...(non-"Linkin' Logs") Weekly "10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit." (10/8/08)

You might have noticed the lack of Daily "Linkin' Logs" today. That was partially intentional (and partially laziness). But I decided earlier this week, to try to mix up the links for the week. Frankly, it gets a little stale (and sometimes I don't have a good lead article) and I need some touch-up ideas. If you've got other suggestions for weekly additions, e-mail me at Justin@badnewsbloggers.com (or if you want to call me a jackass).

Anyway, "10 Things I Think Smell Like Shit" will be a weekly (hopefully Wednesday) replacement for the links where I will list 10 things that...well...have a fresh coating of shit...

1. Chad Johnson. I sweat the man's the daffiest receiver this side of the Ohio (T.O. shotgunned the left coast). Torn Labrum and all, I would still take Johnson as a #1...for like a year...maybe
2. "Pacman" is back. Well, that didn't take long. If you haven't heard, apparently Adam "Pacman" Jones was involved in a fight in a hotel in Dallas. Few details are known and the hotel isn't commenting. Needless to say, BNB isn't surprised at another Jones transgression. Duck Fallis.
   
3. Puck Dropping Palin. Talk about a risk taker. Politically, Palin is trying to help her running mate capture another chunk of my home state, Pennsylvania, but frankly this looks like a stuck gun ready to backfire. Palin is sure to hear more than enough jeers down Broad Street.
   
4. Sad Guys of the Trading Floor. So I'm a finance guy. I admit I'm a bit concerned, but I do take a bit of joy in this gift an AGMer sent me today. Yes, we can all now chuckle at some of the world's best brokers holding their heads...its ok...they lost your 401k money, you can do it.
   
5. Eager with the Slash. Former Flyers goon Ben Eager was suspended 3 games by the NHL Commish. Normally, we wouldn't be surprised at a big, vicious and probably illegal Ben Eager hit. But this one just can't be missed. Eager swung his stick (missing) from the bench at equally ruthless Sean Avery in the 3rd period of a Blackhawks-Stars exhibition game. He missed. The NHL suspension? Not so much...
6. McNabbulous Accountability. The Eagles currently suck. Donovan McNabb knows this. He thinks they're better (so does Clinton Portis). They'll do better...or its McNabb's ass...seriously
7. Manning better than Manning. Deadspin's Rick Chandler thinks the whole concept is rather inane, but more to the point, ESPN can't be serious...can they? I guess we should just ignore statistics, consistency and common sense and just got with the guy who has...the same number of rings? Its ridiculous to compare the two. Peyton is just better. Unless Eli starts putting up Pro-Bowl after Pro-Bowl season, then its Peyton. Eli should start with being the best QB in the division, then we can start comparing him to the best in the league.
   
8. Red Sox B.J. While we're on an ESPN tangent, let's just finish 'em off. Seriously, what is this. Look, I get it. It's the ALCS and you're announcing playoff starters. Seems reasonable? But if you asked the casual baseball fan/ESPN reader who the game 1 starts of the NLCS was (Something I never saw an ESPN article on...nevermind top of the news, front page), they'd probably say something about Hole Camels. To which we think...thanks ESPN...I hope MNF tanks.
9. Chicago. Talk about falling off the map. The Cubs, arguable the best team in the majors throughout the entire season had as many post season wins as...well...me. Extending their curse another year and making me really glad I'm not a Cubs fan...though the Cubs do less than 10,000 losses. As for the White Sox? Hey, at least they broke their losing streak.
10. Marvin's Handgun. Lost in the Manning mess, the Colts struggles and the disappear Peyton Manning is the fact that Marvin Harrison was recently invovled in a "shooting." (I say "shooting" because the facts are murky at best and he has not been charged or really connected beyond the gun itself). Now the alleged victim is suing an uncharged Harrison claiming Harrison shot him. And yet our criminal court hasn't handled this yet? Inspiring.

I hope you enjoyed the first edition of 10 Things...Look forward to more next week and "Linkin' Logs" are back tomorrow (probably...maybe...kindasorta)