Not the Sharpest Knife of the Bunch

Derrick Rose must've had an interesting day at work today. The rookie Chicago Bull, according to Yahoo! Sports, missed today's practice because he needed 10 stitches to close a gash in his arm. How he got the gash? Well, apparently he wasn't paying enough attention to what he was doing.

Rose says he was cutting an apple in bed (?!?!) and he got up to get something and when he came back SAT on the knife he had sat down. Wow, ok. Are you sure you weren't doing something else in bed? I don't know of very many people that would slice an apple in their bedroom. Hasn't your mommy always told you to eat your food in the kitchen, or dining room in some cases??

Here's what he had to say about the matter (again, I got the quote and background information from Yahoo.com):

"It was a silly incident," Rose said. "I was cutting up some food and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to go get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm."

Silly goose. I guess your personal chef will have to do all the cutting of apples from here on out, huh?

Rose says he should be able to play against the New York Knicks tomorrow night, fortunately.

Original post by Yahoo! can be found here: http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/blog/ball_dont_lie/post/Derrick-Rose-cuts-apple-arm?urn=nba,127593

DSRTSV - 12/8/08

We'd be remiss if this didn't appear. The unstoppable Trent Cole and an amazing FG block:

The Gauntlet: MMBBQ (12/8/08)

Today Petey did something that we rarely see in today's MMQBs: He opened his article with a readable diatribe...about football.

He gave his hits, misses and thoughts on the week, but, as always, found some ways to be sensationalist enough to prove that he's still a moron. But hey, a novel concept here, he's going to talk about a myriad of good NFL games to lead off his column.

Someone fire up the grill!

Only the division winner (of the AFC East) will make the playoffs. Flip a coin: I'll take the team playing the best defense: Miami. Incredible. Miami with a home playoff game.

Hmm. Well, let's take a realistic approach. The Jets have Buffalo (a winnable game), @ Seattle (a tough west coast trip) and Miami in what could be a play-in game. The Dolphins have San Francisco (a team playing much better), @ Kansas City (a tough road game, similar to Seattle) and @ the Jets to, as mentioned above, possible decide the division. And the defending AFC Champs (Admittedly Brady-less) are @ Oakland (a tough road game), Arizona (a pushover division champ) and @ Buffalo (just as winnable).

Who are you picking? I admit, New England has a west coast game in a tough environment, but Oakland is still miserable and they're already adjusted to the west coast thanks to a trip to Seattle this week. But Arizona is totally weak at this point, playoff team or not and Buffalo clearly already has a fork in 'em. The Jets have the toughest schedule in my opinion and the Dolphins don't have a clear tie-breaker over the Pats. Still...the Dolphins?!

In the NFC, Petey makes goes big...or he goes home:

Carolina: 9-3 overall (6-3 in NFC)
Dallas: 8-5 (6-4)
Atlanta: 8-5 (5-4)
Philadelphia: 7-5-1 (6-4)
Washington: 7-6 (6-4)
Chicago: 7-6 (5-5)
New Orleans: 7-6 (4-5)

How I see it: I like Carolina, but I don't trust the Panthers now as much as I do Atlanta, which is odd to say with the Falcons coming off a loss in New Orleans. ... The Panthers may have to win two of four against a tough slate to make it. ... I also don't see how Dallas recovers from that absurd loss in Pittsburgh. ... I see Philadelphia winning out (Cleveland, at Washington, winner-take-all with Dallas at home) and Atlanta edging Carolina on a tiebreaker for the other playoff spot.

So let me get this straight. Both Atlanta and Philly are making the playoffs. Well, assuming there are no other ties in the NFL, Philly won't tie anyone (seems reasonable, right?). So they finish 10-5-1 according to Petey. Now Carolina has a tough remaining schedule (Tampa, Denver, @Giants and @ New Orleans) while Atlanta has Tampa, @ Minnesota and St. Louis, which seem possible to go 2-1 in.

Did he really just call the Panthers going 0-4 down the stretch. Given a Tampa victory tonight to keep the Giants honest, I suppose it makes sense...but that's friggin' nuts. Denver's defense is pitiful, the Giants look a little lost with Burress and the Saints? Well, they're great at home, but a week 17 game to keep Carolina home?

We will see Petey. If Philly gets in, I'll be glad to eat crow.

Never Judge a QB until year 7...unless you judge them before:

I don't buy that perception about Romo [not being a big-game quarterback], by the way; I'm simply making the point that if the Cowboys don't make the playoffs, the thread of two straight playoff-opening losses and this horrible interception will begin to write the book on Romo. My other point is that Romo deserves the criticism, but let's let his career breathe before we label him some sort of A-Rod in the clutch.

There is NO WAY you can judge a 28 year old quarterback after 6 years in the NFL (and 3 years starting). Just no way. Of course he did rank said Romo ahead of some Super Bowl winning quarterback just last year...just saying...

Stab the motherfucker!

Wade Phillips sharpens résumé skills. What? Too early for this one? OK. We'll give it a week or two. Am I blaming him? Not at all. But it's not me Phillips has to worry about.

Well, ok then

But what about us?

This game will be dissected for days in Dallas and celebrated like few other Steelers wins ever -- and I mean that, because in neo-natal units across western Pennsylvania, nurses coo babies to sleep by cursing the Cowboys. But the Cowboys played it a little too safe for me in the fourth quarter.

That's such horse shit, everyone hates the Cowboys... Dallas Sucks

!

What does beating the Giants do?

1. New York Giants (11-2). What a weird way to clinch a division, licking wounds at home while Dallas choked in frigid Pittsburgh. G-men are 19-4 in the last 53 weeks. But one thing they have to be concerned with is how they struggled without the deep threat of Plaxico Burress. And that's not going to change. They've got the formidable, and angry, Dallas secondary to contend with next week, deep in the heart of Texas.

See last weeks "Fine 15"

6. Philadelphia (7-5-1). I know it's only two games, after a succession of bad ones, but this is not a team you want to be playing right now. Not with Brian Westbrook producing 166 yards a game over the last two weeks, not with Jim Johnson's defense playing superbly.

and this makes perfect sense because the Ravens just pasted the Eagles last week 36-7 and the Redskins this week 24-10 and the Redskins beat the Eagles 23-17 in October, ergo, the Eagles are the 6th best team in the NFL to the Ravens 5th. Makes perfect sense indeed.

And Petey with the hook!

"I've heard about the billboards. I don't rush out to pillory myself and look at them.''

-- Bengals owner, president and GM Mike Brown, on the four billboards put up around Cincinnati by a protesting group of fans called whodeyrevolution.com. The group is asking for donations of $18, or $1 for every year of Brown's stewardship of the team, and says on its Web site: "Einstein's famous quote, 'Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,'' should be framed and put above the door to Mike Brown's office.''

Ouch...

Really now?

NFL teams, particularly one of the league's hot teams this season, don't practice like your father's NFL teams did.

No shit. Where'd the leather helmets go?!

The Holiday Sales Pitch:

Lots of good selections out there this year, and I've highlighted nine of them here that I think will be appealing to real football fans.

Yeah, he has a friggin' page dedicated to hocking the books of his fellow colleagues (who dropped him a wad of cash in exchange). That's cute

And of course, our favorite 10 things he thinks he thinks...he thinks...

d. Keith Olbermann on the happenings in the Motor City: "The Lions haven't won since the presidency of James K. Polk.''

What the hell does that even mean? Hasn't won since the Harding Administration...ok, that coincided with the explosion of Ford Motor Corp...but Polk? Am I missing something?

i. I'd worry about that Marion Barber dislocated toe if I were the Cowboys.

Jerry Jones isn't.

j. Marvelous Millen Legacy Dept.: Detroit drafted wide receivers Charles Rogers, Roy Williams, Mike Williams and Calvin Johnson in the top 10 of the draft between 2003 and 2007. Rogers is out of football, and in an Oakland County (Mich.) jail for probation violation. Roy Williams has been traded to Dallas. Mike Williams is out of football. Calvin Johnson looks like he'll be a good NFL receiver. On Sunday, against Minnesota, the following were Detroit's first three receivers: Johnson, John Standeford (up and down from the practice squad much of the year) and Keary Colbert (signed last Monday). What a debacle.

Just keep rubbing it in, I'm sure Detroit fans appreciate it

2. I think the NFL has to take Pro Bowl voting away from fans. It's silly, it's pointless, and it makes a mockery of the game. How can Joe from Klamath Falls vote for three guards in the NFC? I don't even like players voting. The vote should go to 96 people: two coordinators per team one pro scout per team. Then it would really mean something.

Ok, I was up in arms about this, until I read the last two statements. I was concerned Petey would give this to the media, but if you allow some serious professionals to get involved, I actually agree. You get one there Norm!

c. Can you believe the Lions' fourth-and-a-foot call right before halftime by Colletto? Sending Daunte Culpepper behind right guard, into the teeth of the marauding Williams brothers, the best run-stuffing combination at defensive tackle in football? Terrible call, and Culpepper didn't get an inch. What possible logic is there to that call? It's almost a fireable call.

Am I the only one who still realizes Daunte Culpepper is like 6-4, 250. Its a god damned foot, you've got arguably the strongest quarterback in the game and you're 0-12. Why not push it?

e. Why does Rutgers end up in these Single-A bowls every year? There can't be 15 teams in America playing better over the last five or six weeks.

Because they suck ass! When you're 7-5 (4th in the weak Big East) and have losses to Fresno State, West Virginia and Navy how do you expect to make it to make it to a good bowl. And yes, their are 15 better teams; just look at the top 25...and then we'll still find 15 more teams

4. I think this is what I know about the plans for the new United Football League, scheduled to begin play in September on Thursday and Friday nights in, most likely, six markets:

· Two of the possible six franchises still need owners, and in these tough times, that has to be worrisome.

· If Jim Fassel doesn't have an NFL job by February, the UFL wants to hire him to coach the New York franchise. At $1.5 million or $2 million for the season, Fassel could do worse.

· The week after the NFL season ends in February, the league will hold an online poll of fans, asking if they think the league should pursue Michael Vick to play for one of its teams in 2009. If the vote is yes, the UFL will try to sign Vick to play -- presumably while he is under suspension for a year by the NFL after leaving prison on his dogfighting conviction.

· Field goals of 50 yards and longer will count for four points.

· There will be XFL-like locker-room and on-field cameras.

· There will be a female referee.

Ok, that's just kind of interesting. Will the female ref be wearing a bikini?

NFC South Game of the Year (and a recap of Sunday's games)

I cannot emphasize enough how important tonight's Monday night mtachup is when it comes to the playoff race. Even the casual NFL fan will tell you tonight's game will be a great one. If you are not intrigued by a Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-3) and Carolina Panthers (9-3) showdown, then you should not be calling yourself a fan of the NFL.

Carolina may have gotten knocked out by Tampa, 27-3, back in their week six matchup, but they have gone 5-1 since then and DeAngelo Williams is having a career year. The great duo of Williams and rookie RB Jonathan Stewart, out of Oregon, has helped Carolina the whole way, but my vote for comeback player of the year (Jake Delhomme) has backed them up well.

On the other side of the field, veteran QB Jeff Garcia has done a fine job keeping the 12th ranked offense together in close games. In fact, four of the Bucs nine wins have been by a touchdown or less, which includes two overtime wins over Chicago (27-24) and Kansas City (30-27). Might I add that all three of their losses have been by four or less points; 20-24 @ NO, 13-16 @ DEN, 9-13 @ Dallas. As you can see, all three of their losses have come on the road (6-0 at home). But, the game tonight happens to be in Carolina, meaning they are on the road (3-3 on road). That last piece of information obviously points towards Carolina, and adds a little pressure to Jon Gruden's Bucs.

The key in this game will be Carolina's seventh ranked rushing attack game against Tampa's fifth ranked run defense. Both teams will be favoring the run (Carolina is 19th run offense while Tampa's rushing attack is 11th). So expect only around 20 pass attempts for both starting QB's, Delhomme and Garcia.

My pick? Tampa is the obvious favorite; won last meeting and has the third ranked defense in the NFL. But I believe John Fox's Carolina Panthers, led by fantasy stud DeAngelo Williams will upset the Bucs and go on to win two of the last three regular season games to clinch the NFC South. Why not? I picked the Panthers to win the division before the seasons started, why give up on them now?

One thing I know for sure, at this point, is that we are witnessing something great. The NFC South has been having one of their best seasons in a pretty long time. Housing the favorite to win the Rookie of the Year award (Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons QB) and home of TWO nine-win teams through 13 weeks. Just last season Tampa Bay won the division easily with nine wins and Atlanta (currently standing at 8-5) was battling for the top pick in the '08 draft (4-12). Their four-win season forced head coach Rick Pettrino to just resign overnight...before the season was even finished.

Prediction: Carolina def. Tampa Bay 35-28. Williams rushes for 130+ yards and 3 TD's.

Morning After Daily "Linkin' Logs" (12/8/08)

Well, the dust has settled and we've learned a few things this weekend:

• The college football "regular season" has come to an end leaving Oklahoma and Florida left as National Title Game entrants. This game has the looks of a dandy, but I think Florida is so superior that this one will, again, be over around the 3rd quarter.
• The Fiesta Bowl, pitting the 3rd potential NTG entrant, Texas against Big 10 also ran Ohio State has all the makings of a crap-fest. OSU has no business in a BCS bowl after losing to both USC and Penn State and has been a BCS joke as of late. I don't see Texas winning by less than 10.
• The Sugar Bowl does look better though. While I'm slightly unfamiliar with how the BCS system works, its ashame they couldn't put 'Bama againt Texas in what could have essentially been a 3rd place game. Alas, Alabama will be facing Utah in the annual, "We belong here!" game. I just don't see Utah hanging with a tough 'Bama squad
• The Orange Bowl sorta represents why the BCS is kind of lame. Because both the relatively mediocre ACC and Big East are BCS conferences, they each get at least one entrant. At least they managed to contain the crapfest to just this one game. It should still be a good game with Cincy finishing on top.
• And another that could be a dandy is the Rose Bowl. While it doesn't have the glam of the National Title Game, this bowl looks second best to be given that OSU and Utah make the other two decent bowls look a little sluggish. PSU is a team with real moxy, but USC has all the swagger and talent in the world. This one could be good and it pains me to say, Pete Carroll and his Trojans will close out the season with a win and a National Title Game gripe...

Meanwhile, in the world of professional football:

• The Eagles punished the Giants, defeating them 20-14. Those proving the paradigm of the division that any one team can beat any other on any given Sunday. Brian Westbrook strung together 130+ rushing yards, 70+ receiving yards and a pair of TDs to keep the Eagles hopes alive
• The Green Bay Packers have officially emploded and with a 24-21 stunning loss to the Texans. Don't blame Aaron Rodgers here, but with the Vikings 3 game lead (by virtue of their win over the Lions), they have all but no shot at making it in.
• Fortunately for Packers fans; a Jets loss, coupled with Pats escaping victory in Seattle and a Miami victory over the Canadian National team, has created a 3-way AFC East clusterfuck. Even after asshole Collinsworth declared them the AFC Champions (the Jets that is).
  
• The Ravens downed the 'Skins and all but ended their playoff hopes with the NFC South appearing primed to steal 1 spot and a probable second.
• And in typical Tony Romo fashion, the Dallas Cowboys lost a choker to the Steelers in the final quarter. While not a season-ender like the Redskins loss, this certainly forces dallas to make a run in the next 3 games to get in. And it won't be easy because they face the Giants and Ravens at home before traveling to Philadelphia for what could be a potential playoff play-in game.
  

Just a quick note about the MMBBQ today. It's going to be put up later this evening. I was concerned the links wouldn't make it up today, but they did (lunch hour!). I'll do my best to get my Petey rant up before day's end and sooner rather than later.

• A flury of baseball activity: With the winter meetings in vegas in full swing; The Reds traded pitcher Homer Bailey to the White Sox for Adam Dunn replacement Jermaine Dye, The Tigers acquired the Rangers' catcher Gerald Laird, The Yankees are in discussions with Mark Teixeira, Rafael Furcal rejected the A's, The Mets are talking with Frankie Rodriguez, And uppah-dehk-Tek has turned down the Red Sox Arbitration offer.
• AA has the update on the "On-Air Dong" seen on Fox last night.
• Randy Wolf - MLB Whore.
• PFT has the info on Jerruh Jones calling out Marion Barber. Barber missed yesterday's game with a broken toe, to which Jones said (directly from PFT): "He can play with that injured toe. He can play with the soreness and a combination of those things. I see nothing that led us to believe he couldn’t.”
• Again, PFT lets us known that the speculating for the Flex schedules the Sunday before Christmas has begun.
• DCProSportsBlog has begun the petition for actual Football minds to make decisions in the Redskins front office. Specifically, they want some drafting for the lines. Makes sense to me, but I have to say, their fans still suck ass.
• And finally, 10 fascinating facts about the NFL you probably didn't know...and will waste time reading.