A Case In Taking Yourself Too Seriously

The following is a paraphrased translation of what I believe I may have just read at Murray Chass' 'About This Website' section of his "website". The website that he says is not a blog but looks, reads, smells and tastes suspiciously like a blog:

"This is a site for baseball information, but not baseball information from other equally well-informed human beings that call their websites 'blogs'. I do not like the fact that there is a medium out there that thrives on the freedom of speech. When someone asked me what I thought about people who are exercising their right to free speech, I replied, "I hate them." Yeah, that's right -- I hate them and if you haven't noticed, I don't play around.

Why so serious?

"If you find yourself categorized under this new informational movement that I hate, you are more than welcome to come visit. If your a stat freak, fantasy leaguer or Red Sox fan than you can stop by too. Basically, I'm inviting pretty much the entire United States to come visit this website that is definitely not a blog because I hate them.

"This website will primarily appeal to older fans who probably won't visit because they don't know how to use the internet. Or if they did, probably wouldn't want to come to this site because as you can tell, I'm more or less an absolute dick. Did I mention I hate stat freaks? Especially the ones who like stats that try and give us a better perspective on a players overall value to his team? I mean, what is that? Is no one satisfied with plain old RBI's anymore?

"I will be writing everything on this site, but will be inviting people who will most certainly decline unless I offer to pay them. Even then, there's a good chance they will still decline. Although I am the primary writer on this site, I will occasionally post things from the third person, as if it is being posted by an omniscient being so that I can quote myself multiple times.

"If you like swearing, and I don't because I had a job that did not let me openly curse while working, than please do not swear on here. Swearing is bad, but openly defiling things that others spend hours upon hours of their efforts on is not bad. In fact, it's good! I hate blogs!"

Well there you have it. I may have been slightly off on a couple of things, but this is a blog -- so that's to be expected!

[A special thanks to FJM for bringing this hilarious event to my attention as well as consistently making me laugh my ass off.]

Was the All-Star Game Rigged?

I like baseball. Sure its really just what I do until football season gets here, but its easily up there as a sport I enjoy and love to drink and watch (football's so much more intense, you can never relax). But baseball's not without its oddities and given the Donaghy scandal of late in the NBA, the possibility of a controlled game seems more likely than ever.

Look, I'm not off my rocker here, some of the actions in the game certainly make this look the event look shadier than ever. Consider some of the facts

• By the 15th inning, there was little mention ot Bud Selig and his concern of the tie. There was some vocalizing of what we all were thinking by Buck and McCarver (this could end in a tie if things continue), but none were saying how completely effed Selig would be without a winner.
• All-Star voting resulted in Derek Jeter starting even though, at best, he's Ray Durham.
• Clint Hurdle conveniently used Brandon Webb (a starter) for only one inning before bringing in his final pitcher, closer Brad Lidge. I'm aware Webb pitched Sunday (I watched the game), but the fact of the matter is, Webb is a much better candidate to handle a few inning than Lidge. The result was pretty much a guaranteed ending, though it is rumored Hurdle was asking David Wright if he could pitch (and Francoma asking J.D. Drew the same).
• Both Hurdle and Francona used all of their players and when the game finally looked as if it would be deadlocked, some colorful strikezones were utlized to ensure Brad Lidge would be forcing his fastball high enough (even thought he low strike was being called all game)
• While the Stadium aired a Bobby Murcer Tribute in the 2nd inning, Fox didn't show one until the 11th, which is odd considering most networks don't plan those times of things (items that deserve a guaranteed mention) in extra innings...unless they know they'll occur
• A tie in this game would have guaranteed an uproar so loud from the fans Bud Selig wouldn't have survived the entire season, but a compelling game with the possibility of Selig having egg on his face but instead forcing us to watch 15 innings of mostly Dan Uggla butching the infield.

So the facts aren't perfect, but after some of the pitching moves and the late Bobby Murcer tribute by Fox, you had to start wondering...at what point did Bud call it in. Fox made no attempt to concern itself with Selig, but admitted a tie seemed possible. So you tell me, is it a massive conspiracy or am I completely full of shit?

All-Star Hangover Edition "Linkin' Logs" (7/16/08)

So you stayed up to watch the All-Star crapfest eh? If you were anything lke me, you were more upset it didn't end in a tie than watching the NL get Ugglafied. After watching Danny Uggla butched the infield during his time, it was a rare moment of "I could have done better," referring to the fact that anyone who played baseball at any level probably could have fielded better than the Marlins overrated second baseman.

Now that we're entering "worst day in sports" territory today, you've got to wonder why you even bothered watching. Oh well, at least you've got links!

• Jack Curry of the NY Times is reporting the Alan Huber "Bud" Selig is interested in the possibility of maybe considering providing the opportunity for umpires to elect the chance to review instant replays
• Also from the Times, Roger Clemens is what we layman call: effed.
• The Philly Inquirer is reporting that the wife beater will be back just in time to get whipped by the Mets
• The man who saved Brad Lidge may never be known...but the story is pretty entertaining
• The Denver Post reports the Nuggets have given up any hope of having a defense this year
• Brett Favre isn't retired and Ted Thompson is now very aware
• Sergei Federov is being sued by the atypical bank
• Yogi Berra agrees, SJP isn't all that hot...in fact, she's pretty ugly (and her face looks like a foot)
• And Finally, Phillies nation provides us with some insight into last night's game...I agree, it was a shame