A Very Plaxico 10 Things I Think Smell like Shit

Today's "10 Things..." is a special one. Thanks to the ammunition (pun intended) provided by Plaxico Burress over the last week regarding his illegal hand gun incident. So while you can bet it will be filled with lots of Plaxisms and Puns, we'll do our best to give you some other stinky things.

1. Plax Forgot the Safety. If you haven't heard already, Plaxico "Plexiglass" Burress shot himself in the league last Saturday. It was a simply flesh wound that technically wouldn't have held him out too long (we're guessing a month till he'd be back in football shape), but the ramifications of the incident were widespread. For one, he clearly got into a club via alternative means, as no guns were allowed (displaying special treatment), he forgot the friggin' safety on said gun in his pocket, he did not have a concealed weapons permit (though its likely he could never get one given previous incidents he was involved in), he provided fake information to a special doctor at the hospital (who knew he was lieing) and now the state of New York appears primed to "throw the book at him."
   
2. And now the fallout from the Burress Incident has affected others. The doctor who treated Plax is being suspended by the hospital that served him because of the phony information condoned by said doctor. Now, I can't blame the hospital for doing it, but I'm curious as to whether such an incident would have such ramifications had this person not been high profile. Yes, for each athlete who gets off for being famous (and annoys me) there's a contrary case where such an athlete should be punished as any other person. It seems only fair to me
3. And the Giants have ended his season. Heh, you saw this one coming. With Plax likely out a month due to the injury (and others) and likely facing a suspension handed down from the Commish, the Giants placed Burress on the non-injury IR list as well as suspended him for conduct detrimental to the team; thus ending his season and allowing them to avoid payment of roughly $800,000.00...Ouch. Best part is, because the Giants both suspended him and placed him on IR, they have twice as many chances of winning a grievance. Remember, Guns don't kill people, but they sure as hell fuck shit up.
   
4. Charlie Weis - Hotter than Hell. In South Bend, the Charlie Weis situation is getting hotter and hotter. Weis hasn't exactly lead the Irish to the promised land and in the wake of a .500 season with a potential bowl bid being turned down by the Irish, it seems Weis could be in real jeopardy (not surprising). But what compounds the issue is the precedent of coaches like Ty Willingham, a black coach fired after the same number of seasons and poor performance as well as Weis's massive contract. Clearly, the issue is Weis's coaching as he's managed a few top 10 recruiting classes. On the plus side, with Josh McDaniels being the hot commodity in New England, perhaps Weis could reunited with Bill Belichick in 2009 as the Offense Coordinator...oh and still collect paychecks from Notre Dame
5. Oh how the mighty have fallen. As our own Ben Heck alluded to yesteday, the Browns have gone from having two pretty good QBs to 0. The Browns already placed Derek Anderson on IR after he tore his MCL and then Brady Quinn is expected to have surgery on his hand which will probably result in the same IR placement. And now the Browns have signed Bruce Gradkowski which really shows confidence in former Miami (NCAA) and San Francisco (NFL) QB, Ken Dorsey (though I can understand why, he sucks). Still 6 in one, half a dozen in the other as neither QB will help the Brownies to the playoffs and frankly, if you're a Browns fan, you're rooting for 4-12 or the like with the hopes of a good draft pick, that is unless they trade it.
   
6. Starcaps? Well, the NFL finally handed out the suspensions for players related to the Starcaps positive tests. The suspensions appear to kill the playoff hopes of the first place Vikings and probably any chance the Saints had as well. But believe me, this story is far from over and I'm interested to see how the players will respond post-suspension regarding Starcaps and potential legal action.
   
7. Plagiarism across the border. As reported by PFT, apparently Chris Landry of Sportsnet.ca (who?) "borrowed" a little too much from Andrew Brandt and Michael Lombardi of NationalFootballPost.com. PFT has drawn the line and the war between the two certainly should be interesting. Bravo to Florio for digging this one up (I hope he doesn't read me).
   
8. (Via MLBTR), C.C. Sabathia bides the Yankees time. The fact of the matter is C.C. Sabathia doesn't want to play for the Yankees, but they're offering the most money. Rumor has it, his wife would like to see him in San Fran (or Oakland I suppose, though there is no way Beane signs him without a ridiculous discount), and he's open to either L.A. team (bleh, or Anaheim, whatever you call 'em). He wants to stay in Cali because that's where he's from, but he needs one team to pony up enough cash to make it worth it, I can only see the Angels doing that, though the Dodgers can afford it. Still, if the Yankees push the deal, he could be in pinstripes or left in the lurch with no bargaining power.
   
9. Sean Avery gets the just desserts. First let me say, I think Sean Avery is the biggest douchebag in the NHL. That being said, what he said about Elisha Cuthbert is both rude and pretty funny (and kinda stupid). Suspending Avery seems like a pretty severe punishment for such a comment:

   For the record, Avery - unsolicited - stepped in front of a bank of microphones in the visitors' dressing room yesterday morning and said: "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight."

   The comment was regarding his previous relationship with Cuthbert (who's really friggin' hot, by the way) and her current relationship with Dion Phaneuf. Problem is, Avery most likely got the sloppy seconds (as it were) of Cuthbert from someone else (assuming she wasn't a virgin at the time) so its really the pot and the kettle right here. Frankly, the whole thing is stupid, but because Avery said it (and he's a dickhead), I have no problem with the suspension.
   
10. Citibank keeps Citi Field for the Citi. With Citigroup being bailed out by the Feds there is an uprising over the naming rights of Citi Field, the new home of the Mets and the $20 million per year pricetag to keep that name. I can understand the public's frustration, but from a business end, why does a bailout mean no advertising. I haven't heard much of an uprising over the AIG sponsorship of Manchester United (is there one?) and yet this issue seems so poignant. Its a valid concern, but if you'd like Citigroup to repay everyone and/or being a going concern, then why not let them advertise in order to make more money. That's the idea right?