Oh! Mass Media, how doest thou annoyest me?

I spent a random 20 minutes watching some popular sports network today while I was sitting at a local establishment and oversaw the scattered brainplops of those participants/employees within the media conglomerate. Their conversation started on a simple premise: Randy Johnson is likely the last 300 game winning pitcher we will ever see. They went into the logistics of how difficult it is for a pitcher today to tally enough decisions per season on top of the needed longevity it takes to become a 300 game winner.

It bored me to death. Kneejerk reactions are no longer commonplace these days - they are EXPECTED!

They gave reason after reason why it is so tough to amass 300 wins in a career under baseball's current conditions - specialized relievers, pitch counts, etc - where starting pitchers receive less than 69% of their start's decisions. They jumped the sheer cliff of - there's no one on the immediate horizon to win 300 games (save Jamie Moyer from pitching well into his 50's) - to "No one will ever do it again!"

Gee, brainiacs a mere 30 years ago, that number was all of 74%. So apparently we should expect 5% less 300 winners to make the cut based on that fuzzy math leap of logic, right? My guess is that 5% is the same as ALL with today's economy...

Furthermore, they neglected to note that two of the winningest pitchers EVER recently retired (or were "shooed away") - Greg Maddux, Roger Clemens both eclipsed 350 wins! Another pitcher with 300 wins still thinks he's active (Tom Glavine). How easy is THAT to do with a 5 man rotation and specialized relievers.

They neglected to note how Randy Johnson sucked for a LONG time before he became a winning pitcher. They noted that it takes a pitcher many seasons of 20+ wins to make a 300 win career yet blatantly refused to note RJ had all of THREE 20-win seasons in his lengthy career! THREE!

Let's disregard the overwhelming realism that the Big Unit became only the 24th pitcher in the HISTORY of the GAME to accomplish the feat. So it's not exactly an easy bar to leap in the first place... Over nearly 150 years, we should average a 300 winner about twice a decade. We've had 4 this decade. And it's even more interesting to note that nearly HALF of the 300+ wins pitchers have won their 300th game SINCE the advent of the 5 man rotation, designated hitter and the arrival of the closer and specialist relievers.



NONE of this is my point, though.

The next two stories after this great debate are what really irritated me:

1) Roy Halladay won his 10th game of the season yesterday.

It's JUNE 7th and he has 10 wins... me thinks he's going to make a solid run at 20 wins this season. Gee, that would give him his third 20-win season in his career - the same number as Randy Johnson had! Wow! And get this... Oh yeah, that win yesterday gives him 141 for his career... or 49 more wins than Randy Johnson had at the very same age!!! Hello!

2) Stephen Strasburg is a "Once in a generation talent", blah, blah, blah. Gee, let's not tell him that he has NO CHANCE at winning 300 games, right?



I won't get into the whole "Magic are down 2-0 so the series is obviously over", "Brett Favre is trying to come back so let's not speculate how much he obviously will suck because he's old" or "Let's disrespect Roger Federer because he didn't beat the #2 player to win the French Open title."

When Television was invented there were debates over whether they would lead to the downfall of society. I must say is it's not the TV's fault. All I'm saying is - Educate yourselves people! Sports information disseminated for the masses should be consumed for entertainment purposes AT BEST! Laugh at your buddies who think they have a clue because they saw two morons debate the topic on TV. If they foul sports information up this badly, you can only guess what the real story behind the nightly news might be... From now on, I'm only watching the commercials... that way, I might ACTUALLY learn something useful!

I Guarantee You NO Guarantees

{intro music}
(a voice) ...from the guy who brought you the song "Don't Tell People What To Do!" comes another wacky venture with apathetic braggadoccio and mounds of pompumstance.....!!! (raises eyebrows in mock glee)




I guarantee you no guarantees.
What hath this Sportsworld turned into?
A scrub can come hither and hint to
take a hapless franchise to the promised land
a landscape of playoff bounty
Can any fool be so foolhearty?


But this is the year of the surprise!
The downtrodden franchise,
the underdogs like Fresno State
To the "Celtic Triumnervate"
2008 is making winners out of the meek
the new flavors of the weak
It gives a Buffalo Bill the nerves to speak.


It's baffling that so many say nothing.
It's baffling that so little needs to be said to silence millions.
It's baffling that so short is the attention span of the masses
It's baffling for so long, no one remembers how it began





SportsCenter's 8th "Top Play" was a commercial
for an ABC show.
Hail Disney!
You cuddly-seeming Heartless Conglomeration
All your hardest efforts blow.
You're trying to brainwash a demographic,
force us to look at what you want us to see
and use the disguise of sports...
I spell "Failure" with a silent W-I-P-E-O-U-T.


Instant history THIS as it's the BEST EVER what ever it is.





I'm purposely NOT learning the guy's name
because he made a guarantee and I had never heard of him before
But the guarantees are all guaranteed out these days
it's not even interesting anymore.

Guarantees that the contracts aren't getting paid in full.
Guarantees you might finally learn to read in those mandatory two years of school.
Guarantees you'll be prepared for failure and dread.
Guarantees of a life pushing you onto a faster road to 'former football player dead'.





Perhaps it's one too many bongs of beer and three too many of "other"
and after a half a bottle of Chivas this conversation's over
Yes, perhaps I took one too manny pot shots already
I'll go back to trying to diss Suzy Kolber.


Peace and tidings,
M.Stiles 20080708

It's Beautiful. Why Must They Ugly It Up?

I have been priviledged to see the mercurial rise of the lowly "Devil Rays" and the blossoming of the new "It" team from very close and from far away. Sure I was shit-lucky in having Matt Silverman accidentally "win" me and my services. But I really did ask for it. I DARED someone to make me a Rays fan.

And I have LOVED every second of it!

I didn't Fear what the consequences were. Nor do I Fear the reality that is Here.

The Ugly Duckling has effectively shed it's downy chick feathers, has leapt from the nest of 5th place (hey, at least they were never WORSE than 5th!!!) and now swims gracefully atop the rising tide of the AL East. And the Swan is just learning how to preen it's beautiful feathers...
Yet, as quickly as a national media can corner a story ("Holy Crap! the Rays -blah, blah blah- for the first time in Franchise history!"), they can just as quickly smother it.

I have seen the following words in the afterglow of the national media spotlight:

"The Rays winning is BAD for baseball"

"I'm sick of hearing about the Rays, Rays, Rays"

"They're going to blow it anyway and be in last place by September"

Seriously.....?

Grapes can make a beautiful wine. Even a tasty red wine that Joe Maddon would have ready to un-cork in his office after another satisfactory win.

Grapes however can also be sour. Why must people thrash, flail and essential deny reality when it comes to CHANGE? Why does Fear thrive in a world where information and knowledge can be obtained faster than ever?

Face reality. Embrace reality. The Rays are Here. The Rays will continure to be Here and the Future of the AL East will revolve around the Continuation of what has already begun. This team wasn't built for 2008. This team was built for 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 and beyond.

This team was built to be the New Atlanta Braves... to win perennially in a market oversaturated with poor attitudes and a long history of losing. Look at what the Braves did for the 20 years prior to 1991 and see if it reeks familiar.

There is no other team in baseball with more young, developing, talented pieces producing Now (a.k.a "Here"). There is NO team in the game with more prospective pieces that are developing and ready to be chips to fill the gaps and/or be traded to fill gaps.

The Rays have seriously built this team the Right way. The players play the Right way. They are building a foundation of high quality baseball for years to come.

I have to say, having the Rays become the sudden media darling has been a wonderful exercise in determining which national journalists are full of shit and which actually might know their shit...

If you think THAT is bad for baseball - well then maybe YOU are bad for baseball!!!!!

Go RAYS!!!!

- - - - - Manny Stiles, your brother in the fight against the ignorance...


P.S. - 9=8 minus 7 = We Are One Team

Blogger Q&A: Manny Stiles

Name:

Erik Kombol

Nickname:

Manny Stiles th' Komillion

Favorite Sports Team:

Tampa Bay Rays

Favorite Player of all time:

(after myself?) King Kelly

Favorite food:

Lobsters stuffed with tacos

Favorite drink:

Lemonade (but if you mean "adult beverage", it's Patrón Añejo)

If you could take three things with you on a deserted island, what would they be?:

A motorboat, gas and GPS device.

Favorite word:

Thesaurus (did you know - it's NOT a kind of dinosaur?)

If you could be an animal, what animal would you be and why:

One of those cats that has a crazy millionaire owner that dies and left everything to me in their will. If I gotta lick myself to get clean, I want it all...

Favorite sporting moment of all time:

I can't narrow it down to just one. But I'm prominently involved in all of them.

What do you bring to the table?:

Voluminous wiles.

What do you take off the table?:

an empty plate - I don't mind cleaning my own dishes...

If you could have lunch with any three people in the world, who would it be and why:

My wife and two kids - they matter more than anyone to me. Besides, the other people I'd consider (Hunter S Thompson, Dorothy Parker and Joseph Campbell) are all dead. Who wants to have lunch with rotting corpses?

Describe yourself in one word:

freek (not "freak" - freek)

Favorite Sport and Why:

Fishing. Because you can fail more miserably at it than any other sport and still have a good time getting drunk. Plus you get to eat your final score.