That's it, Fire Peter King

I'm breaking the rule...again, but isn't it about time we can that fat tub of lard Peter King and all his mindless dribble, political or not.

Why?

Petey was curious as to whether it was "acceptable" to talk about politics in his column (its really not) but then again, did he really give a shit or did he just want someone to placate his ego?

Multiple folks appeared to have written into King either support or decrying (probably mostly bitching) his ridiculous waste of 5 minutes (for reading that garbage).

He picks and chooses such that they support his opinion (duh).

Adam Leonard of Austin begins to felate Petey by saying: "Just a word of support for your second MMQB lead this week. I agreed with your decision to not use the column to discuss your personal opinions on the election but discussing the impact of it and using players' reflections to help set the context was perfect in keeping with the scope of your column.''

But there are detractors. Gregory Wall or Burlington, WI said "If McCain had won the election and a woman held the job of VP for the first time in the history of this country, I doubt you would have given her a whole page.''

Petey took a swipe by retorting with "You're right. I don't cover the WNBA, where players would have seen that as an emotional moment."

No shit Petey, you don't cover the WNBA. You know what else you don't cover?

Politics.

You're columns have turned to crap. You have a ridiculous self-serving agenda that has less to do with football and more to do with how awesome you are, how right you've been and why you're God's gift to football news.

You know what? You're worse than Rick "I got to go to the Swimsuit shoot with my 13 year old son" Reilly

You and your stupid gray spot can get bent.

Our Peter King MMBBQ - 11/10/08

I think I've frequently said, its not really part of my element to mock sports writers, especially ones who are significantly more successful than I.

In Peter King's case, I think we'll have to make exception to mock the crap out of him. Its not that I hate Petey, its just that his holier than thou, I am the all knowing NFL writer attitude kills me...and when it spills out beyond football (as you'll see) I just can't take it.

Today's MMBBQ is politically charged:

You see Petey thought it'd be nice to charge his Democratic friends with a nice one pager during the election, something that nary raised an eyebrow in 2000 or 2004...

He focused on the election of a black man to the presidency (to be fair, a historic moment in many ways). He touched on Brandon Marshall's potential touchdown celebration (and black and white "Power Fist") and the status of minorities in the NFL (something I feel is fairly represented with respect to the US population, but not with respect to the NFL population). And of course, he let us know how NFL stars feel. Rather than fight through mindless partisan dribble, I'll leave you with the good quote (pretty much the only one, though Scott Fujita's was ok, though not to insightful), courtesy of Hines Ward: "We'll all remember where we were when our first black president was elected. It used to be that a black coach was unheard of; now I'm playing for one. A black president was certainly unheard of, and now we have one. Martin Luther King talked about having a dream, and now we're all living it."

But that fact of the matter is, Petey chose to focus on the election. Not because it was historic (he claims that was the rational) but because he's a partisan arrogant son of a bitch. It is ridiculous to use your national article as a way to trumpet your political views which, while slightly clouded here, is very clear in retrospect. Its even more offensive that such an illustrious (get it!) magazine's editor would allow for this.

Fire Peter King? That's change I believe in...

And moving on Peter's added a few new sections this year, specifically: What I learned about Football this week that I didn't know last week. Now, I can understand the point, but the title of this one says it all: The NFC Might be the stronger conference at the top right now, but the AFC is decisively better in one area: special teams. Perhaps I'm interpreting the wrong way, but it took you 9 weeks of NFL football (where you continuously ranked the Giants, Redskins, Eagles and Cowboys in your top 10...and that's just one division) to realize the NFC was better...

That's ok, you focus on special teams...you're special Petey...very special...

Another Monday Afternoon MMBBQ (11/3/08)

Peter's back at it again. Really, its no so much the crowned one today. The good soldier fights on with his usual dreary flub about why he thinks the Giants are good (because he lives in Jersey...icky). Still, no conceited drub detected this week, but he did do a fine bit of reporting:

Hey, let's go 7-0. Let's see if we can go 7-0. ... We're playing for ourselves. We're playing for our professional livelihood.''
--Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis, in his postgame speech to his team after the Bengals won their first game of the season, 21-19, over the Jags.

To which Petey responds: The Bengals have seven games left, and Chad Johnson says he thinks the team could finish 8-8. Well, in two weeks the Bengals start a rather interesting five-game stretch -- Eagles, at Steelers, Ravens, at Colts, Redskins -- and I'll just say this: If they sweep those five, I'm changing my name to Peter Ocho Cinco.

Now maybe I'm not a true Iggs fan here, but if the Eagles season is truly predicated on the Giants game, and they lose, is it so wrong to start rooting for the draft pick and hope the Bengals pull off the miracle string and make him chance his name. Seriously, can we hold his feet to the fire and make this happen?

Still, can't let Petey off that easy. Needless to say, his "Non-football thoughts" were going to kill me. What's he got?

Petey went on a little spat about how weak baseball is (namely Bud Selig - True) and how bad the weather was and how it ruined his night. It bothers me that they sell tickets to some schmuck like Peter King. Asshole can watch them play in Tampax, where there are no fans, instead of stealing seats from a caring fan in Philly. He was happy for Brad Lidge (we all are) but not a single congratulatory note for the Phils (while blowing Joe Maddon and the Rays).

Thanks Peter

Sorry you live in Jersey

And Peter King's Bad Blood Spilliths Over

Like I'd miss an opportunity to rip good ole Peter King a new one today. If you missed it, our friend Peter had a nice little MMBBQ talking about...well, the 49ers and something about the Colts and Titans (a game which hasn't been played) and ignored...I dunno, multiple major games, like Dallas and Tampa or the Giants and Steelers.

But that's Petey's prerogative.

But I'm not here to rip King's philosophy or writing style. Just draw attention to Petey's vendetta. That of one we featured weeks ago. You see, King hates Warren Sapp because Sapp ripped a show King was on (until it was cancelled).

What's Peter's jab today?

"The Buffalo Bills are going to the Super Bowl.''
-- Warren Sapp, on the NFL Network's pregame show Sunday, five hours before Miami sent the Bills home with a 23-16 defeat.

"That sound of scissoring you hear is the PR staffs of the Patriots, Steelers and Titans clipping that quote out of the paper this morning and posting it in places players will see quite often."

Right Peter. The Pats, Steelers and Titans are listening to what Warren Sapp has to say about the dark horse Buffalo Bills. Yeah, they're pinning that one up on the wall right next to Carlos Beltran's team to beat proclaimation. If the Patriots need Warren Sapp's Bills proclaimation to get motivated than perhaps there's more wrong with the Pats than Tom Brady's Staph infection...

Maybe that's just me Peter, but you've got some serious sour grapes there.

Peter King Talks Moles

I normally don't like to rip shit professional writers for this particular poorly worded sentence or that incorrect hypothesis (afterall, we have integrity right?), but in this case, its something worthy of criticism and sometimes I can't resist.

An exerpt from King's most recent Monday Morning Quarterback:
"June 25, Clifton, N.J.: My wife had been on me for weeks -- months, really -- to get the burgeoning freckle/mole on my right forearm taken off, and so I saw a dermatologist who agreed it must go. I never would have gone on my own. Too busy. But I went. Mole removed. Size of an Atomic Fireball. Routine. Six stitches. Doc, Jonathan Gold, said I'm fine. Gave me 55 and 70 SPF sunscreen and told me to wear it. Life goes on."

"July 1, Clifton, N.J.: "I need you to come in today or tomorrow,'' Dr. Gold said on the phone. Oh? What for?'' "Your mole came back with a melanoma.'' Cancer. I think he said after that he thought it was contained within the original mole and tissue he cut out, but all I could think of is, What is this guy talking about? Isn't melanoma something for old people in the sun too long? "

"I go in the next day. The protocol for such things, I see on WebMD.com, is to cut out an area three-quarters of an inch in all directions to make sure the melanoma has not spread into the lymph nodes or bloodstream. The procedure was longer, and the smell of burning skin more intense as he burned and cut the innocent tissue away. "You'll always have a little dent in your forearm now,'' he said as he sewed up the gulf with 25 stitches, then looked down at his handiwork. "Looks like the laces on a football.'' "

"Heck of a job, doc. Thanks. Weird feeling. Much of the area between the wrist and the sutured wound I can't feel. Comatose nerves, hopefully. But an infinitesimal price to pay. And I never would have paid it if not for my wonderful wife telling me to take care of that little mark on the arm."

Then Peter gets a little preachy...look, I agree Skin Cancer is bad and I think you should try to prevent it...but seriously, I'm looking to read about football, not 3 pages on your vacation and how you almost had cancer. And I should learn from this. Ugh...

"I think if you take nothing else from this column, take this one little piece of Kingian advice: Wear your sunscreen every time you're outside in the sun for more than 15 minutes. It's something I wish I'd been more religious about over the last 30 years."

Sometimes Peter makes to too easy. If you're the leading football expert at (arguably) the top sports magazine in the country (maybe the world) and you're reduced to talking about moles...maybe its time to move on or admit its a bit slow this offseason.

That being said, Jemele Hill still sucks ( a hair better than Jason Whitlock...smaller tits though) Read more of MMQB here.